Thursday, November 26, 2015

I Don't Feel Anything for Him Again!

Good day ma

Mail below refers

As I'm writing to you now, it's with so much pain and anger. I wrote to you in September about how I suspected that my husband was cheating on me.
After seizing his phone for one month,he later released his password and I saw lots of chats on his phone that showed that he's actually cheating. I was so angry and mad at him.
Stopped talking to him for days and he was always begging me to forgive me. He claimed it was only phone conversations and promised  to end all relationships.I later forgave him despite all the pains.I followed your advice.
Recently, I just found out that my husband continued in his wayward life. Instead of ending the relationship, he changed their names on his contacts so I wouldn't know. He also deletes his calls after every conversation with them.
He's in a relationship with a married woman. The woman travels to US and comes back and my husband knows her husband.
When the woman came back, my husband was making arrangements to meet her somewhere again before I got to know about it. He denied it at first but when I started threatening him, he started apologising. Making promises and telling me that it will never happen again.
He claimed he never had sex with her which I never believed and I refused to forgive him.
It's three weeks now, it was just two days ago that he finally accepted that he had sex with her. That it was a mistake and he's been living with that guilt. It was on bbm chat that he finally accepted.
Now I can't seem to forgive him. I've asked him why he cheated on me and what led to that, he said nothing. That he doesn't know what happened. He's been saying he's sorry, and that it will never happen again.
He cheated on me for no reason. I've been a loving, caring and supportive wife to him ever since we got married. I've been there for him.
Why would he cheat on me with a married woman? I feel so much pained and betrayed. How can my husband sleep with a married woman without thinking of the consequences?
I've lost everything I had for him. I don't feel anything for him again, I've lost the respect I have for him, the trust I have for him has been broken.
The marriage is in shambles right now.
I just feel like leaving him and moving on with my life. I don't even think that the marriage can be restored to what it was before.
I don't think I will be able to forgive him and pretend that this never happened.
Please what do you advice.

Thank you so much for your support.

My Dear, 
I took my time to meditate on your mail, I asked myself what the mind of God could be in tough and frustrating times as this. 
To be candid it is a difficult experience knowing that the man who you have committed your soul, spirit and body is not a chronic cheat but also a hardened lair who have lost his conscience and sees nothing wrong with sleeping with married women. 
The risks of infections, the danger of the woman's husband dealing with him, the shame and public ridicule that comes with knowing that the man who ought to perfect your weaknesses is constantly in the laps of women can be heartbreaking to say the least. 
Behind every cheating man is a man who doesn't have self control over sex and doesn't have any regard for the emotion of his partner. 
He is fighting a battle with his bare hands and everyday you find him pleading and promising to quit cheating but will still go back to his ways of life. 
If you wish to end it all, I do understand why but I know that deep down you wish that this marriage will succeed against all odds. 
You feel great pains because of the sacrifices and commitment you have devoted to the marriage and how much you pray that God will intervene where your strength and efforts weren't sufficient. 
Your husband is not evil, he's only being used by the devil to destroy your marriage. For the fact that he doesn't bring them home nor does he boast about his cheating appetite shows that he still respect your position as his wife and that means that there is a possibility that he will give up on that someday. 
To help a cheating husband requires a lot of patience, painful sacrifices, constant prayers and communication with your husband. 
You have fought him, seized his phone but it never yielded any positive results. Now you need to use your knees and you need to do this with him and get to the root of his weaknesses. 
Ask him what his fantasies are and what makes a stolen sex sweeter than the one he gets at home. Find out if there is anyway or manner that your attitude or disposition has directly or indirectly pushed him into cheating on you with no regrets. 
Stop fighting him because it never goes beyond the moment. He will only dance to your tune and later on go back to cheating and modifying the skills and approach to it. 
Look at when God brought him to you, the prayers, hopes and faith that you shared with each other, the children and personal sacrifices you have made for the sake of your marriage and the vision that you have for the marriage before you knew of this and you may have a reason perhaps to reconsider your decision. 
It may not be easy for you to forget, but that man needs your forgiveness, he needs your help most in times like this, he may look strong and heartless but within is a man yearning for help and support to overcome this habit of cheating. 
Forgive him even if you feel that you may need some space to cool off and think about the future of the marriage. 
When everything is broken down, it doesn't make the potter to shiver, it only give him a vision to redesign with the clay. 
Many wives at one point of their marriage or the other have confronted the monster called cheating in their marriage and today many wish to be mentored by them. 
No marriage is devoid of challenges and painful experiences but every day God reminds us that we cannot prosper in marriage without his grace and presence and no matter how bitter or horrible the experience maybe, he is still faithful and able to fix that which is broken. 
Can we still take this marriage to God and allow him work on it please? 
Can we hold unto God and present him to God and pray that he will transform his mind and help him to understand who he is in Christ Jesus? 
Do you feel that God is far away from you now and there is nothing that can help you grow to love your husband again? 
Walking away sometimes may not be what we truly need unless God is leading us to His perfect will for our lives. 
Yes dear you have every right to leave but please prayerfully reconsider your marriage before taking the best decision for your marriage and your partner. 
I have learnt in my journey to trust God's word and surrender to his purpose for my journey. 


  1. What a painful experience. Is not easy to live with a man who cheats. But believe me with your prayers as his wife, all will come back to normal. Is very hard to forgive but forgiveness and serious praying and fasting is all you need for God to change your husband for good. May God that sees our tears come to our help and remove all obstacles that the devil is using against us.....Amen.

  2. Na wah o. First time I'm really feeling what cheating is like from The Woman's angle.
    May God perform a miracle for you my sister.

  3. Na wah o. First time I'm really feeling what cheating is like from The Woman's angle.
    May God perform a miracle for you my sister.

  4. i can feel your pain dear poster, seeing some one u love, cherish, trust, support, cares for, cheats on you, it pains so much..i understand how u feel but please i plead with you to forgive him, resentment they say is like drinking a poison and thinking dat it will kill ur enemy.. u have fought dis battle with a bare hand before it it held notin..i think it is time to hand over this situation to him dat instituted d marriage, it is time to go to God on ur knees for his sake, my sister, no man in his rightful thinking will like to do some thing dat he knew will not only hurt his wife rather if care is not taken his generation..he is battling with something stronger dan him, please dear find a place in ur heart to forgive him. he needs ur love, ur support, ur prayers, ur encouragement now to overcome dis.. i pray that God will restore ur home again..please pray for him.


  5. I am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for over 9 years and we had two kids. thing were going well with us and we where always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treated me and the kids. later that month he did not come back home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted traditional spell hospital for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he casted on him that make him come back to me. my family and i are now happy again. Thank you Dr. Aluta for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay. He cast spells for different purposes

    1. Only God will save you. Going from one blog to another advertising this Dr.
      well thank God for your miracle.


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