Thursday, November 26, 2015

Should I Tell Him about my Visa?

Hello Aunty Amara, I have been following your advices to broken hearts and I can say that you are really doing a great job so here is my own story and I really need your advice.
I am a lady of 27 years who is independent. I have finished my schooling and even travelled abroad to work for some time but I came back this year and decided to change my country of base to a better one, meanwhile all these while I have been in a relationship with this guy for about four years now though not intimate until this year.
He has come to my family house and introduced himself as my proposed suitor (my parents are late), he engaged me July this year he was planning to come see my people officially by December ,and I got pregnant for him in August as we got intimate but unfortunately I had a miscarriage this month, and this same month God finally blessed me with visa to the States.
Now here is my confusion: I have not told him anything about my Visa , and he has some questionable characters like
1. He is stingy, he hardly gives though he said he doesn't have much,
2. When he speaks angrily his mouth is poison,
3. He doesn't provide for me, now above all those he loves me so much but am at a crossed road now if I should let him know or to move on with my life as I travels out.
Please Aunty I need your advice in order to make my decision as soon as possible. Thanks

Congratulations on your Visa, it's a good news and I pray that God will visit you and prosper the works of your hands in Jesus name Amen. 
I also pray that you shall never miscarry nor shall you cast your young in Jesus name Amen. 
Your mail is a bit confusing because this man has been with you for four years now, he has not only defined the relationship but has proposed marriage to you which you accepted. 
I was thinking that at this stage of your life you already knew what you wanted and you were convinced before accepting his proposal and bringing him to your village for introduction. 
I thought that you have come to understand the things that trigger him and make him say hurtful things to you and that you have learnt how to manage them or at least avoid them to the barest minimum. 
I thought that you have come to accept his personality, his purpose and his passion in life and you were willing to support him in your own little way and also be open to him in your own plans. 
You said that he loved you and cares so much about you and at the same time you said you are saying that he's stingy and that he doesn't have enough. 
My question is, can a man who doesn't have give? Can anyone really give what they truly don't have? 
And when you say that he loves you, what were those qualities of him which made you feel loved and complete in him or are you simply looking for an excuse to dump him off since you can't go to the states with him? 
Well from all you said, I must be candid with you that I could not spot any reason why you couldn't let your fiancĂ© know that you got a visa to travel to the states. 
I mean he won't stop you nor will he kidnap you should you decide to go today. 
He won't kill you even if you feel that you don't want to continue with the relationship anymore. 
It takes great measure of love for you to have allowed him to make love to you and you took in for him. 
Life doesn't end when you get to states neither will your need to love and be loved vanish because you now have some cash with you. 
Take your time to evaluate what matters most to you, I would rather suggest that you discuss with your fiancĂ© and know his thoughts and views about the relationship and your ambition. 
It will greatly help you in planning yourself and seeking ways to balance your relationship and your career. 
If you have enough to spare, please support your partner and help him to grow in his own ambitions and vision in life. 
It's no crime for a lady to support her partner and if he has been there for you, perhaps you may help him or at least be fair to him. 
I wish you all the best in all your endeavours. 


  1. Dear poster...
    It seem your visa suddenly got you fed up with this guy...
    This is a guy you agreed to marry and even got pregnant for've met his family and so on so why the sudden twist?
    Now that you've gotten the opportunity to travel out of his sight, this guy suddenly becomes incompatible for all the wrong's unfortunate...
    You sound like there's a dream guy you hope to hook up with when you travel..
    What you want to do is just don't wake up to crash a persons expectations out of nothing..
    You should have walked out long before now that everything is almost set..
    That notwithstanding...if you're no longer interested in this guy due to some reasons best known to you...kindly do that on mutual terms..
    Accord him that respect of letting him know about your visa and don't fool him that you're there for him when your heart is somewhere else..
    We need to be considerate when we deal with people..


  2. I am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for over 9 years and we had two kids. thing were going well with us and we where always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treated me and the kids. later that month he did not come back home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted traditional spell hospital for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he casted on him that make him come back to me. my family and i are now happy again. Thank you Dr. Aluta for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay. He cast spells for different purposes

  3. Dear,don't you think you are too confused about these whole Love thing? How did you conclude he loves you? A man who is not willing to share the little he has with you,and who from your letter,you have not convincingly demonstrated any willingness to build with him? How???
    A man you can't even trust with your plans,how did you manage to start trusting him with your life by accepting his proposal,and even with your body?
    I suspect I know where the problem is coming from - you sound confused about your self-identity,about what your life is all about,and that is really dangerous. You sound like one who has not discovered her life's Purpose,and her True Self,what your life is all about.
    Our Life's PURPOSE determine our PLANS
    And,our PLANS determine our PARTNERS,especially our LIFE PARTNERS.
    Where you are going,determines Who you travel with. You don't travel with someone who is travelling in another direction; no,you team up with someone who is already travelling in the same direction as you.
    Go and learn, answer the questions of your life,and make the right decision. I wish you the best!
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