Sunday, November 1, 2015

I Will Visit my Village Oracle and Fight Back!

Aunty Amara thanks for the kind of advice you give to people. My story goes like this. I met this guy on Facebook in 2013 and we fell in love with each other. He's 39 and I'm 21 years old.
Before we started dating, I asked him if he was a married man and he said no that he was never married before but he has a daughter with one woman but was never married to the her. We were talking and chatting till 2014 when he came back.
We met in that 2014 and he went to see my people. Before he went back to his base, I was already pregnant.
His elder brother finished the remaining rites but my dowry was not paid because I was pregnant. Few months after he went back he started acting somehow, he hardly call, text or answer his calls unlike before.
That same year a lady started calling me telling me that I stole her happiness from her. I asked him if he knew or promised anyone marriage but he said no that I should not mind the caller or better still that I should change my line.
When his sisters came back, I asked them if their brother was or is married to any woman in abroad because they are all staying in the same area,they said no.
In fact if I saw any woman with him, I should fight that woman because he has no other wife except me. They told me that he had the child with one lady to get his paper over there but the woman was not his wife.
When I delivered my child, one woman called to congratulate me. She told me that she was my husband's friend. I asked my husband again about that woman and he told me not to worry. After all I had a son for him and he was the first of the family. Fast forward to this year when he came back he did so many things and even chatting too. He told those girls he was cheating with that he was never married and the woman he wanted to marry disappointed him.
I called the girls and they told me everything. I recorded it and showed it to him but he denied it and told me that even if he was doing that, I should not be bordered because he loves me and that was his reason for marrying me.

When I couldn't take his cheating habit, I went back to my father's house and came back because his brothers and sisters was pleading that I should come back.
I did not come back just because of their pleadings, I came back because I was pregnant and still nursing a baby.
When his brothers were asking him about those girls he denied everything. After so much talking from everybody I forgave him but couldn't forget what he said to those girls about me.
Aunty Amara this guy told me that he doesn't have the chance to go and bring our bag but he went and lodged in a hotel with one of those girls and they spent the whole day.
He went back to his base that month and his girlfriend started sending pictures they took in the hotel room to me. And this brought another quarrel between us again and his sisters started supporting him that I should've ignored the messages and pictures the girl sent to me.
They even said that if I don't change the way am monitoring their brother that I will go back to my father's house. Aunty Amara am sorry to say this but if they ever try it I will make sure I visit my village oracle and it will fight for me because I sacrificed everything for this guy and they think they will take my son from me and send me away.
After quarreling with his sisters. I never allowed them to intimidate me because of their wealth. The sixth of them called to apologise to me and I accepted and we are living like nothing like that came up.
I was discussing with the mother and she told me that the guy was staying with the baby mama and they have been together since the guy was 15 years old and the woman was not able to have children for him because of all the abortions she did for her son.
She also told me that it was the guy that took the woman abroad. She also said that the guy has not done anything on her head so she's not his wife.
Aunty Amara please what do you think I should do. Should I still be in this mans house because of my son and my unborn baby or should I just leave this God forsaking marriage.
If I should leave, where will I go to. My parents are late and my brothers are still small.
Aunty Amara please advice me on what to do right now because am just losing my mind.

Please ma I need this advice as soon as possible ma
Aunty Amara, I don't think this guy loves me again because he doesn't call unless I flash or call him uncountable times.
He forgot my sons birthday because I did not call or text to remind him.

My dear, I know that you are bitter but consulting the oracle in your village will never deliver you and your children from the challenges you are currently experiencing nor will it provide your daily bread nor succour. 
You met him on Facebook, fell asleep sorry in love with him and next he activated your legs and before we could say take caution, you were pregnant for him. 

Not only did you allow him get you pregnant, you never made enquiries about all he said nor did you find out where he was from. 
Everything was rosy and beautiful for you not until you started getting interference with his mistresses. 

I know that you are in pains right now but I will still tell you the truth, if your dowry wasn't paid, you have no stake in the life of a man no matter what you may have sacrificed for him. 
In some cultures, any children gotten from a woman whose bride prize was not paid for never partakes in the properties or inheritance of their father /family. 

Now you can see how powerful that token could be when done appropriately. 
You are simply the mother of his children who has no place in his life or his family. 

My suggestion would be that you take your children back home, let them know that until your dowry is paid, your children will forever be with you and your family. 
You may not be able to fight against his mistress but you can protect the future of your children and at least have some respect and dignity in his house. 

You have to make up your heart to live with the consequences of your negligence and decision. 
There is no need seeking help from the dark and strange places. 
Run to God now and renew your relationship with him and plead for mercy and allow him to heal your broken heart. 

That your siblings may be young and ambitious doesn't mean that you should suffer as a slave in the hands of individuals who doesn't see you as part of their family but are exploiting ways to get your children and bid you farewell. 

Forgive them and forgive yourself for not being patient enough to know about your boyfriend before making him your "bodyfriend". 
God is calling out on you and he's ever ready to help you become a better lady. 

Prepare your heart to work extra hard to cater for the needs of your children and support your siblings. 
Demand for the funds to take care of your children but make alternative plans if he doesn't see any reason to send his money for the needs of your children. 

Take your time and please do not out of pains and desperation do anything that may destroy all that you live for and cherish in life. 
Look up and embrace the grace of God for your life in times like this. 
He's faithful and willing to fight for you and give you peace of mind. 

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