Sunday, November 8, 2015

My Whole World is Crashing!

Good day Mrs Amara.......
I feel so heart broken and thinking about suicide now. My story goes like this.
I started dating this guy before I gained admission into the university, January would make it our third year of being together.
He's actually a nice person, very jovial and understands me a lot. I love him a lot, sometimes I feel I love him even more than my parents you may ask why, reason is this he helped me move on, he put back smiles on my face..
I was raped 2012 and no matter how hard I tried to forget about the incident, I still saw myself remembering it and saw every guy on the street as a rapist.
After I met him, I began to forget about the incident, I don't know how he did it, but slowly I forgot about it. Now my problem is this, the guy in question lectures in same school though not in my department.
I get to see him all through first and second semester but whenever the session ends and we get to go on holiday, problem sets in. According to him, each time I go on holiday, my coming back is dependent on resumption of school.
The present issue i'm having now is that I wasn't with him when his dad was ill (the dad became sick during this break) . Aunt Amara I tried explaining to him, he told me he understood that I was still dependent on my parents, later on he told me that it's very difficult to forget that he had to go through everything on his own and I wasn't there for him.
I just woke up this morning and went on WhatsApp only to find out that according to him he got engaged this morning. I don't know what to do, a part of me is devastated and another part of me is thinking that it's just a joke because we usually do something like that.
Please I know lots of people would say he's been cheating all these while, but would someone who gave you access to everything he has, including atm pin, house keys, password to everything, even his parents and siblings and virtually all his friends still cheat?
Aunt Amara please I really need your advice because at this moment I don't know what to do, think....
I just feel that my whole world is crashing.
Am very sorry for the long write up, I just wanted to give the details, so that I would be advised accordingly....
Thanks so much in advance.

I don't know why I'm also not believing what you saw on his WhatsApp profile. 
Please pick up your phone and call him. Request to meet with him and have some heart to heart discussion with him. 
Things like this are better said to your face than on the social media. 
I know that you are already broken but we can't make conclusion from a distance. 
When you meet him, find out more about this and then be sure that the lady in question has an identity. 
Then thank him so kindly for helping you overcome the pains and the agony of the experiences you had in the past. 
Thank him for supporting you when you needed a shoulder to lean on and encourage him to give his best in his relationship before bidding him goodbye. 
In life we meet individuals for different purposes and assignments and sometimes we feel that they were meant to stay with us but in reality and in God's agenda of things, he was there for a purpose and once that purpose is accomplished, he will simply leave. It hurts especially when you have made a lifetime decision on a short term purpose. 
The truth could be that he was sent to help you find healing, happiness and fulfilment in your personality and identity. 
Forgive yourself for trusting him so much that you forgot to let God into the future and forgive him for making you feel less of the kind of lady he desires in life. 
Remember that your future is not dependent on him but in God so please do not lose hope or faith in God. 
Shed tears, cry and open up and let the pains out of your life. 
Of all creatures, humanity are the most deceptive and they can device any means or methods to ridicule your efforts and replace you with another person. 
Anyone who makes you feel empty is only reminding God that you deserve better than such a person so please cheer up and be calm within your spirit. 
Whatever be the outcome of your enquiry doesn't mean that your world has come to an end 
If God could create a man that good for you, then he has the capacity to create a man who is ten times better than him. 
Hold unto God and get hold of your heart please. Don't forget, I love you dear.

1 comment:

  1. Dear poster..
    As far as anything involves humans, anything is possible...
    That he told you his ATM pin , his passwords and tells you all his secrets does not prevent him from doing the same to another...
    I know you so much built your life around this guy even to the extent of writing "I love him more than my parents" on your post but you need to understand that people walk into our lives...some stay and some depart...but one thing is goes on...
    Do not be tempted to start pleading with him to consider you...
    You can win his presence but the heart knows where it belongs...
    If he has made his decision, soak up the pain and respect it..
    Time will happen to you...
    Time heals every wound...


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