Friday, November 20, 2015

Qualities You Want in a Spouse

Question: What are the qualities you want in a man?
Girl: He must be god-fearing, neat, caring, well groomed, honest, decent, with a vision for his life and home, bla-bla-bla.

Question: What do you want in a woman?
Boy: She must love God, neat, sexy, and properly raised, decent, good in housekeeping...the list is often endless

Kudos for knowing what you want in your future partner. It's always beautiful to know what you want and more beautiful to know that you are not willing to accept anything less.

We all set standards for ourselves in life even though we don't always meet those standards. But I love it when I see those who are focused and who know what they want from life. You know what you want from life and in a relationship; do you know what you deserve? I must also let you know that you are not alone in this because almost everyone wants the same thing you want in a spouse. But have you asked yourself if you are anywhere close to being those things everybody wants from his/her spouse?

You want a god fearing spouse; do you
fear God? Do you still have your conscience? You want to marry a woman who can always intercede for you. You want a man who will be the spiritual head of your home. What efforts are you making to become that for someone?

You want a very decent spouse; that’s highly commendable. But, what's your dress sense like? You still sag and walk like a baboon; you always have your breasts out for every fly to perch on; you have five earrings on your ears, you have another on your tongue and eyes; your body is nothing short of a public toilet and yet you want a decent man/woman for a spouse.

Your makeup, instead of making you more beautiful, turns you to a masquerade that should be dreaded. Everything you do is in the excess, your false lashes look abnormal, your false nails are way too long, you are close to wearing panties outside the house and yet you desire  a very decent spouse.

 My people, the Igbos in Nigeria have this saying, "odikaodi kpoba, odikaodi azuru" (you will always attract your likes). What kind of places do you go to? You sleep and wake in night clubs; you are a fish when it comes to alcohol; your friends are nothing to write home about, and yet, you want a decent spouse. You currently enjoy dating a guy who does not come home after work. Don’t cry tomorrow because he may not be home for weeks even when he is in the same city as you.

I agree with you; you sure need a man of vision who can lead the way. We have been conditioned to believe that it's the man who must have a vision for his home. You move about aimlessly; you loiter the streets from morning till night; you are in school is just for the fun of it; you have no vision apart from graduating and partying. All you think of is what to wear for that weekend party. Your favorite TV channel is E and your favorite program is the K…s. You spend time in gossip about successful people instead of working hard to be discussed by others.

 Do you have a vision for your life? If you do, what is your vision? What vision do you have for your spouse? Where do you see yourself five years from now? What would be your contributions to his life? What are you bringing to the table if eventually you become his Mrs.? You have no right to ask for a spouse with vision if you have none for your life and home.

You want a girl who can cook and keep the home and yet the only place you visit is a night club. While you date her, you take pleasure in eating out and visiting all the big hotels and restaurants in town. You can only get a girl who would be out every night and come back the following morning to throw her pants on the floor of your bedroom and sometimes on your face. It's also possible you get a very good girl who you would subject to torture as long as she lives with you.

The person should be honest; it's a good one. But why is it that the only truth we get from you is 'good morning'? You are lucky to be a part of the GSM generation and so things are easier for you. As far as you are concerned, there is no point saying the truth, even to your partner. Right where you are telling your likes that you want a god-fearing spouse, you have five social media accounts with different names and pictures.

A friend told me how his cousin's fiancé was left in shock when she saw that the very man she has been in touch with is her fiancée’s cousin. She put up a newspaper advert asking for a man in his forties. She lied that she was in her twenties (she was in her thirties). My friend continued chatting with her and talking on phone. On the D-day, my friend went to work, well dressed, hoping to finally meet his dream woman. He had told his colleagues that someone special was coming. There entered this lady who was asking for the given name. When they called my friend, he realized that the very lady he was in touch with for months and who he supposedly didn't know, was in his house with her fiancée the previous night. This brought that lovely relationship to an end.

Like I said earlier in this article, it is not wrong for you to know what you want. It is normal for you to want a Mr. or Mrs. Right, but in doing this, make yourself a Mr./Mrs. Right. Make sure you are that which you desire in a spouse.

 Change yourself first. Concentrate on becoming that which you desire in a spouse. God is too merciful not to allow you mess up the life of His precious child. Marriage is a covenant for serious-minded people, not those who love to play around.

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