Saturday, December 12, 2015

I Hope He doesn't go Back to His Vomit!

Good evening Aunty Amara,you are such a blessing to this generation and I hope to hear from you soon as I dish out my challenges...
I actually met this calm quiet guy who turned out to be my husband today but before we started courtship he told me about his past mistakes like having a son out of wedlock,the story behind it was heart touching and I felt for him and still accepted him because I love him,( When he was single he actually fell into the trap of a married woman who has been looking for a child for six years and also for this reason the family of the husband fully knew about the infertility and also the husband not been able to perform and bear children persuaded to throw her out so she eventually met ''my husband a single brother then''and unknown to him,she kept the secret of her marital status and they started dating which lead to her getting pregnant. After realising she was pregnant she went back to her matrimonial home and kept it but the husband later realised that the baby was not his son which finally led to separation of the both of them,unknown to ''my husband today''he didn't know till after one year when the woman came to tell him that the son belonged to him).
Now the issue was that getting to know about the child, he said he cannot marry the woman since he was married to another and several men of God he has met told him never to marry her,even her family,but while we were courting I noticed that the woman was still sending romantic text. She was not even feeling any sense of remorse about her mistakes,but not only that I realised that even though my guy told me he was not going to marry her,he was also not fully committed to me while we were courting because he actually fell sick and needed to do a surgery.
while the surgery operation was on,I noticed a particular lady was calling his phone and so I didn't pick cos I was praying so later she sent a text on WhatsApp and behold I saw another shock of my life I mean a crazy romantic text with another lady,at that point I was so mad at him but because of his state, I couldn't say anything till his health was okay.
So I asked and he started crying and asking me to forgive him,I really felt bad but I forgave him and so we went on with the marriage plans. Also I noticed there was another lady from the village who has been pressuring him that she must marry him if not his life will never know peace and at a point she was sending abusive message to me through my guy.
I asked him again who the lady was ,he said she was a friend to his elder sister and she was far older him that he could not marry her. Emmm all of these kept me in fears before I finally did my white wedding...I'm presently pregnant for him but ever since in the marriage, I notice some changes like I feel he was keeping some things from me,have actually been having some dreams about strange women.
In fact about seven dreams of attack from women and also I'm scared that hope one day he won't go back to his vomit,like meeting the ''MARRIED WOMAN'' even though I know she was throwing advances at him,and also since there was now a child between them and she was not even remorseful to settle her marital home but just wanted to get married to another.
I'm really worried and somehow I know that I can't be an hindrance because of the child . Somehow I'm feeling regretful that he might be a cheat later cos even now he does not allow me to get close to his phone. As if he is hiding some things from me...What do I do please?

You have gone too far to allow fear of the unknown and regrets becloud your mind and understanding in your marriage. 
According to you, all of these happened in the past and he apologised to you for his wrongdoings. 
If you have forgiven him genuinely, you wouldn't surround your home with anxiety and fill your heart with depression. 
Rather you will get down on your knees and surrender your home and marriage to God and continuously stand in the gap for your husband. 
You will dispel every manipulations of the enemy over your home and destroy every yoke of the wicked against your marriage and your family. 
You won't desire to always investigate and monitor every movements of your husband or the messages that he receives on a daily basis but you will take charge of your marriage in the spiritual realm with prayers and fasting. 
You may wonder why I suggested that you intercede more than you investigate, it's because it gives you eternal peace and assurance that God is working in your marriage to perfect his promises for your marriage and home. 
It's because you have the most powerful weapons with you that has the potential to crush every weapons of the enemies and transform the heart of your husband towards you and your home. 
Then you can talk to him and the Holy spirit will convince him and compel him to heed to your counsel. Then you can make a suggestion and it will become a law in your home because God would have captured his heart and have given him the heart of love for you and your family. 
As for his relationship with the mother of his son, it will still be there because of his duties to his son until he's old enough to become part of your family and I hope that you are preparing your heart to receive him in your home and take good care of him as your son. 
So do not relent in praying for him and always make out time to communicate with your husband and meditate on God's word to know how best to manage your home and fight against the plots of the devil in your marriage.

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