Saturday, February 20, 2016

How Do I Deal with Loneliness?

Hello ma,
I really appreciate your good deeds in the life and marriages of people. I am a young man of 27 years never dated a lady in my entire life,though some girls want to come close but I don't know how to keep a relationship,like talking to them and what to do.
I am really very lonely most times,which resulted I masturbating,which I don't like because I know the Bible forbids it.
I have been trying as much as I could to stop it I just can't please I would want you and your fans to advice me on what to do.

God designed humanity to function in the environment of love and affection. From when we were kids, we sought the company of the opposite sex, playing with each other, fighting for each other and sharing with only those who we trust. That was how life started evolving and that remains the basic need of humanity. Denying yourself of the privilege to relate, associate, socialise and interact with one another and with the opposite sex maybe setting yourself up for some uncomfortable experiences like masturbation and loneliness.
Girls are not a different breed of individuals but they're human beings like you who crave for attention, affection and communication.
To be close to a lady, you may need to start by appreciating her personality and being a good friends with her. No pressures, no drama. Chat, share, communicate and compliment her in your own little way. No need to be fake when you can be real and no need to be shy because we all need each other.
If you like what you see, express yourself, the worst that will happen most times never happen, and when you are closer to a lady, that's when you will understand her personality much better than when you are far away from her.
Take your time and avoid wasting your resources in a bid to let her know that you want to impress her, when a lady is in love with you, she would not need your money to accept you. Please make sure that you settle for the lady who shares the same values and vision with you, while we have so many ladies out there, their values and vision in life may be entirely different from yours.
When you make out time to mingle and make friends with the opposite sex, you would have dealt with loneliness and would have suppressed the desire for masturbation. God designed penis for mutual sexual intimacy and not for self stimulation and because God hates every form of sexual immorality, you don't want to continue with what will crush your destiny, destroy your self esteem and make you a slave to your own body.
A lady is prayerfully waiting to show you what loving could be like, and you don't need to bury your heart in your loneliness. While you are at it, devote your heart and time in productive ventures that will make you relevant to the society. No matter how little you make, strive to be productive and add value to life instead of staying indoors and feeling empty.
If there are any form of triggers that pushes you into masturbating, please deliberately decide never to have anything to do with them. Triggers like pornographic contents like movies, music and magazines, avoid friends who constantly talk about sex or those who boast around with it, it may have a negative impact on your mind and push you into masturbation.
Ask God to forgive you and heal your heart of this strange attitude so that you can enjoy the privileges and God's provisions for your life.

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