Tuesday, February 2, 2016

I Hate Depending on Him!

Good morning Aunty Amara,may God continue to bless you for the good work you are doing. Am an ardent reader of AVL and I must commend you,you're doing really good. Ma, am very confused on the way my life is going right now,I have prayed,I have fasted,there's nothing I have not done to put my life on the right track,but all I see is set back and delay. Ma, please I need your advice and that of you fans.
I was withdrawn from school because of my academic performance, and till now I have not told my mom about it because I don't have the courage to do so, though I told my uncle that was assisting me and he was like I should go back to my state, but I gave him reasons why I don't want to go back, I want to stay back and work because there were some places I submitted applications and am still waiting for their call.
When I was in school I had a small business I was using to assist myself. There's this guy I have been seeing for four months now,and he has been nice to me,we love each other and I did not hide anything from him, I told him about my problem in school and some other things too,like I opened up to him. The problem now is that he asked me to come and assist him in his business ,instead of staying at home like that,he said he's going to assist me get back to school this year. We've agreed to settle down as husband and wife once I get back to school,and I have been going there to assist him and he takes care of me in his own little way,but the problem now is that, I hate the fact that I have to ask him for everything.
Aunty Amara I like making my own money to assist myself but he asked asked me not to work for anybody, that I should rather work for him and he will pay me,but I can't let him pay me because ,he takes care of my feeding, I want to work somewhere else so I can save and go back to school,because you can't trust anybody, I just want to strike for balance,in case anything happens and I have told him that,but he was like if am doubting him I should take him to anybody I respect or any couple that I respect for them to advice us,that's why an sharing it with you because I need your advice and that of your fans thank you...

The first thing I would encourage you to do is to humble yourself and let your mother know your struggles and challenges in school. Having a bad result in school doesn't mean that you are a failure in life. It could be that you are not in the department that you have a greater understanding and intellectual capacity for.
It could be that the mode of teaching and the environment and some psychological factors were not favourable for your learning and academic development and it is absolutely normal for some individuals.
It could also be that your passion is in what your hands can produce or in business development opportunities. But one thing you must accept is that you are unique in your personality irrespective of the outcome of your academic studies.
Though four months is too early to make a lifetime commitment but if you have accepted and agreed to work with him and settle for him, I would suggest that you work with him and suggest that you enrol for a skill acquisition programme since he's not comfortable with the idea of working for another man so that will it enable you become self employed and independent of anyone and also enable you to support your family and your husband. Let him understand that you are not doing this to compete with him but to argument what he's earning.
Discuss extensively and find out what his fears and worries could be so that you and him can reach a compromise on what would be more beneficial for your relationship and your studies.
Put your mother in the picture of your plans so that she will also give you her own suggestions. I hope that these promises are genuine so that you don't get married and then cancel your academics for your children.

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