Saturday, March 19, 2016

How Do I Get my Things Out?

Good afternoon ma'am, may God bless you. Ma I'm seriously in need of your advice in this issue. A friend of mine introduced my husband to me and we didn't date before we got married in 2011. After my wedding I discovered that I married the most wicked man. He cheats on me a lot, he comes home late every night, at times he will sleep over and if I talk he will beat me, no respect he beats me up at any little issue, even when I was pregnant for my second baby at seven months he broke my head.
Everybody is tired of settling our matter and his family was supporting him, he will always tell me to leave his house and I refused so he collected the house keys from me and I have a shop he opened for me, so any little issue he will lockup my shop and ever since 2012 he opened the shop he stopped giving me money for everything in the house and I have two girls for him.
So last year April I travelled to buy goods for my shop as usual, coming back the same day he told me that I cannot enter his house again, I begged him for one hour he refused I then went to my younger brother's house and slept. And this has been his way ever since he collected house keys from me, I always sleep in a friend's house. Ma, since that April till now I have been struggling and training my kids alone, he refused to give me my things and my kid's own, he said until I give him my shop.
I went to his village to table this matter, his mum and brothers didn't allow me to enter their house. My family came and my husband told them that he was not interested again with the marriage that I should give him my shop before I can carry my things. He even called police for my parents. Ma, to cut the long story short he is living with another woman in the house now.
What do I do to get my things out and I can never release that shop for him because it is the only thing I hold at hand. Secondly I don't have a enough money to relocate, I see him everyday and I'm feeling bad seriously, I don't have any man in my life because everybody around my area knows me as his wife and married woman while am not any of the above. My brothers are still small so he looked down on everybody in my family because nobody to challenge him.
He works with N** (for confidentiality purposes) so he feels I can't do him anything, ma'am this man is very deadly and wicked, I'm even afraid, he has not paid my bride price because I was pregnant before my traditional and white wedding and my father said he cannot collect it base on our culture, so nothing to return to him.

By the first principles that he didn't pay your dowry, you are traditionally single even though you wedded with him in the church. Now to be absolutely separated and free from the marriage since he maintained that he was no longer interested in continuing with the marriage when your parents came for reconciliation and renegotiation, you must go to a customary court of law and file for a divorce because the marriage certificate which you received from the church is a legal document and as such must be legally dissolved before you can move on with your life and discuss on how to recover your properties and the terms and conditions of acquiring the shop.
Since he has already moved in with another lady and doesn't see any need to reconsider you in his life, please there is no need to regret but you must decide to give your children the best and work hard to meet up with your needs and that of your children.
As for getting your things out, once you have dissolved the marriage officially, if it means letting go of the shop so that you can get your properties please kindly consider that option and let him have his shop. There's no gain in holding onto his property when his heart is with another lady.
All you need is to ensure that he's responsible for the upkeep of your children and in a situation where he refuses to send financial assistance for his children, you can get the welfare to compel him to send financial assistance to you until they're old enough to decide where they wish to stay.


  1. If she has custody of the kids,i don't think the court will allow him have the shop back cos that's where she s feeding d kids from.


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