Saturday, March 26, 2016

Should I Remain Friends with an Ex?

Hi Amara, I trust that you are fine. Thanks for this platform. We are indeed blessed. I need some advice. Amara, Do you think it's wise to remain friends with an ex who broke your heart? Especially if they had made so many promises during the relationship of how they loved you and couldn't live without you and how they would marry you no matter what. But afterwards twisted their words and turned their back on you and on top of that, left for an ex and suggested we "only" remain friends. What is your opinion, in my case I refused because I didn't trust him anymore, it hurt more and because I didn't see us growing together but the guy said I was acting Unchrist like and immature by ending the friendship too. Do you think it's wise to remain friends with an ex?

The first gift you owe yourself whenever you feel disappointed, hurt, pained and heartbroken by an unsuccessful relationship is forgiveness. Why did I say that? It's because it will to a greater extent determine how beautiful and adorable your future relationship will be for you. It will also influence your perception, and your appreciation of relationship in general and men in particular.
When you must have forgiven him and have released him within your heart, you will find it easier to move on and fall in love with another man.
Healing process may not be immediate but you can adopt any measure or pattern that works for you. You may decide to stay a mile away from your ex to avoid feeling inferior or inadequate whenever you are around him, you may decide to cut off everything that connects you to him to avoid anything that will remind you of what you left behind and you can also consider keeping him as friends if you are comfortable with that and you are not threatened by his friendship(you can only consider the third option if you are emotionally strong and positive to suppress every negative vibes that his presence may bring to your life especially when you have all the good reasons to convince yourself and assure yourself that leaving him was not a loss to your future and your happiness).
What was Unchristlike was being deceptive and manipulative, what was Unchristlike was leading you on only to disappoint you, what was Unchristlike was arousing your emotions, assuring you of marriage and betraying you by returning to his ex and what was Unchristlike was torturing emotionally and still come back to make you feel as though nothing happened and that both of you should be friends when there's no purpose, vision and future in such friendship.
You alone knows how best to heal from the pains of his betrayal and you don't need anyone to guide you on how to relate with your past or tell you how mature he is.
Whether you talk to him or not, both of you are friends, perhaps strange friends and there's nothing wrong if he wishes to call once in a while but don't force yourself to anyone or force anyone to show you affection and friendship.
Go for what makes you feel happy, loved and appreciated and not his opinions and always remember that for the fact that it didn't work out with him doesn't mean that God not working things out for your good and happiness in your marriage.

1 comment:

  1. Wow tnx am "crying"exactly what happened to me Jehovah is our strength.


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