I'm engaged to this young man and our relationship will be two years by October. We love each other so much. My family has accepted him same with his. But the problem is that he's still living under his parent's roof. He's working and he's the one catering for the family needs because they are not buoyant enough.
My problem is that if he continues like this I don't see us settling down soon. Last year he told my dad he'll hear from them soonest but up till now nothing. I have turned down several marriage proposals because of him. I'm 26 years, a graduate and I've got a job.
Now for how long will he keep living with his family at the detriment of our future together. As it is now, I see him as someone who can't make enough savings so as to start planning for his own life. Even his younger brother is married. He keeps telling me to be patient, I'm tired of all his excuses. Advice me ma! God bless you.
Any man who wishes to achieve his purpose and vision for his life and his relationship must have a clearcut plan and strategy on how he hopes to meet up with the demands around him and at the same time organise his life to prepare for the uncertainties of tomorrow.
There's nothing wrong with helping out with the family responsibilities but that doesn't in any way mean that he should put his life on hold until he has cleared up all the family challenges before he will consider getting married.
He may need to strategize on what investment that the family can venture into so that they can meet their immediate needs while he organises his life and settle down with his own family.
I feel that he needs to give you the full details of his plans for the relationship and his family, he needs to put you in the picture of what he hopes to achieve and when he wishes to settle down so that you can plan on how to support him and encourage him in your own little way to stand.
He shouldn't keep you hoping and praying when he can help you understand the clear picture of his plans for his family and his relationship.
He needs to work towards becoming independent of his parents and independent from them so that both of you can work out how to strengthen each other and support one another.
On your own part, please be patient with him and try as much as you can not to make him feel as though you are no longer interested in continuing with him or something close to that. Pray for him and encourage him in your own little way so that even when the circumstances of his family maybe weighing him down, your presence in his life will motivate and strengthen his heart.
But I still maintain that he tell you in clear terms what's his plans for the relationship so that you can work with him to achieve that.
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