Tuesday, May 17, 2016

She Doesn't Enjoy Sex!

Good morning Sis Amara. God will continue to be your strength and vigor. I and my wife have married for over three years now with a child after eight years of courtship with nothing to write home about on our sexual life. All what I discovered was that she was very romantic during our relationship which drastically declined on the verge (few months) to the wedding ceremony.
At the onset of the relationship, she made me realise she was a virgin and as a man I tried severally to break in but she said she has made up her mind till after wedding which I regrettably helped her achieve. We hardly have sex four times in a month, maybe after much talks and begging.
Most times I become so annoyed why do I need to beg and beg each time before am able to make up even for the four times in a month. I have called her and begged her to forgive any way I might have wronged her but the problem now is that she said she doesn't enjoy sex, in fact she has only advanced towards me for sex once in the three years of our marriage, perhaps after watching a very romantic movie..
I have worked it out via several means ranging from the purchase of such movie which she later detested and will never agree to watch again, personal hygiene, gifts to make her happy but all in vain. She will limit my advances to make her wet, and always fail to even play her role. All what she says is that she read something about it that it's her nature, but I detest it because the whole thing changed on the verge of our wedding despite we were not having sex.
Most times I sleep with deep pain in my heart likewise in my groins after a failed attempt to have a nuptial relationship with my wife. Am getting tired and sick of the whole thing and before I am been lured and eventually break the vow I made on my wedding day, please I need an advice because I can't continue like this after such a heavy sacrifice to keep myself for her. Thanks very much ma.

Please encourage your wife to write to me here so that I can have a word or two with her and understand what she's struggling with. 
I have to start off on that note because there could be some inner struggles, perceptions, opinions, and experience which might have contributed to her attitude towards sex. It may also be that she was circumcised and as such may be rigid to sex and it might also be that the initial pains she experienced while have sexual intimacy put her off from having any sexual intimacy with you. 
Women respond to sex according to the state of their mind and if her mind reads pains, pains and more pains, no matter what you buy or what you do, she will always struggle to put off those negative signals to enable her enjoy sex. 
Have you tried digging deep to find out what could have made her hate sex and frustrate your sexual intimacy? Do you know what could be responsible for her attitude towards sex and what she heard or read that is contributing to her denying you of sex?
It's quite unfair and painful that you have been experiencing this for a long period of time without speaking out or seeking for help but please encourage her to write to me, I am hopeful that her limitations and reservations can be worked on and that both of you will enjoy sexual intimacy without struggles.
On your part, please be patient with her and remember that going outside won't solve the problem inside your home. Let's fix the leaking pot and and prevent strangers from destroying your home and making a mess of your sacrifices for your marriage.

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