Monday, May 23, 2016

What's my Stand in the Relationship?

Hi ma, God bless you for your good works... My boyfriend lost his mum last year and he hasn't been able to grieve properly... His mum was a very nice and Godfearing woman and they were really close. When she was alive, she was like a mother to all including her seven biological children, now the whole responsibilities has been shifted to this guy and it is really disturbing him.
I thought I could handle it, but I now realise that I can't.. He doesn't pay attention to me like he used to. I understand what he is going through, but am not sure this whole neglect will ever end because he feels overly responsible for not just his immediate family, but cousins as well who have their own parents alive and well...
I thought of leaving him, not because am in a hurry to date another person, but because I really do not need any confusion or complication in my life. I love being focused but right now, I don't even know where we stand in this relationship.

Until you experience the loss of a loved one, one so dear, so close, so loving and one who has been an integral part of your journey, it may not be easy for you to understand what he's experiencing emotionally and psychologically at the moment. 
You might feel that he's not giving you adequate attention that you desire, you might feel neglected, discouraged by the enormous burden of his family but I feel that you should be a little bit more patient with him and understand that he may not be doing this to hurt you or make you feel unloved. 
Maybe you should make out time and celebrate him in your own little way for all he's doing to cover up and accommodate the responsibilities of his family. Maybe you should be more considerate and remember that before the death of his mother, he never neglected you or made you feel unloved. 
When you draw him closer to you and give him the assurance that you love him and support him, you may then find out what he's experiencing in his family that you might not have known before now. 
Listen more, understand him more and then give him some suggestions and opinions that you feel will be helpful for him and guide him. I may not suggest that you move on just because of his current circumstances but give him some time to recover and settle down with the realities of his family before deciding on what you feel is best for you and the relationship. 
Remember him in your prayers and meditation, and do not be in a haste to make conclusions when you have little or no idea his inner struggles, weaknesses, challenges and the circumstances that might have made him act as though he doesn't care about your presence in his life.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)