Monday, May 23, 2016

Should I Tell him Myself?

My condolence on behalf of your father's death. Am having a serious challenge right now...
My sister-in-law who came to stay with us for some days now and it happened that she had little issue with her husband is really making me to hate her. She is with her first child, I don't want to believe when she said she has cheated on my brother-in-law with the man I know too well who happens to be a family friend to them... Read Slept with his Best Friend!
I told her to never say that again but she insisted on telling me she has gotten pregnant for him and terminated it... Right now am so angry and have not smiled at her since yesterday, and she is becoming uncomfortable. My problem is if her husband ever find out, what is going to be my end? He so much trusted my closeness with his wife, and am afraid she could tell him that I have such idea if he finds out ... Should I tell him myself? Oh nooo this could break their home. she has been answering this same man's call even now... I have told her to stop but she said she is afraid the man could tell her husband, and what came out from her mouth right now that made me to write to you is beyond me ' she is planning to poison this man on her coming date with him...
My brother-in-law is coming to pick them back home this weekend, I guest my husband has talked sense into the man and I have really talked sense into her as well. But what should I do? This is getting out of hand. Wasting of a soul is now involved... Thank you ma...

Do not panic or be carried away by all she's said and done. There is more that can be done with wisdom, understanding and maturity than rushing to relay an information that could destroy everything that you are trying to prevent.
She's getting worried and under duress because what she wanted to keep as a secret has been revealed to you. Please do not use this vital and private information of her weakness against her or judge her for her inability to manage this challenge in her marriage. 
She has already made the mistake, she has also admitted of her wrongdoing and I have also encouraged her on what she should do to focus on her marriage and break off from the strange fellow. Please quit judging her or making her feel more terrible by your actions and reactions. 
Instead of looking for who to report her to, I would suggest that you pray for her, intercede for her and fast for her marriage. Do not let anyone else know what you read or have an idea of her own decisions and choices in her life.
Someday, somehow, sometime, the secret will be an open book if she chooses not to quit her relationship with that man.
Let her know that poisoning the man will earn her a death sentence and at the same time be kicked out of her marriage. She has already messed up and there's no need to pretend to be a saint, but instead of looking for ways to terminate a life, it's wiser to face the shame and ridicule by confessing to her husband if she can't manage her emotions and she feels that her husband might find out from his best friend. 
On your part, you can encourage your friend to write me, so that I can discuss further with her for further counselling. 
Please be calm, be composed and be patient with her, nothing will happen to the man because she cannot stand the reality of such a reckless thought.

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