Thursday, July 28, 2016

He Insults my Mother at Every Given Opportunity.

Hello Aunty, so sorry for bothering you again, I promise this will be my last time of writing to you(**you can talk to me as many times as you have need to), pardon me because this one will be very long.
I was the lady that wrote to you some months back telling you that I haven't talked to my husband for three months, (read Haven't Talked for Three Months) and you advised that I make peace with him, of which I tried my best, apologised to him but he just snubbed me without knowing that he has so many things buckled up in his mind.
He overheard me on phone talking with my sister when I told her that I'm saving up some money(of which I save from grocery shopping). He instead of asking me about it concluded that I have been stealing from him, even before this he has accused me of stealing in so many occasions of which I swore to him with a Bible that apart from the money he gave to me that I don't touch his money.
Even at that he doesn't believe me, the worst of all is that he insults my mum at every given opportunity (I know my mum must have made some mistakes in her past because I was born out of wedlock, but why didn't he ask around well before tying the knots with me). He said some source told him that the man I claimed got my mum pregnant is not my real father. He belittles my mum and calls her names even saying she's wayward and that she's the one supporting me to steal his money. He acts as if he's possessed, locking away all his stuffs, guess it's almost five months now that we haven't talked let alone sex.
During all these while we have been arguing, he only slapped me once, threatened to hit me with a bottle. Last incident that occurred when we were arguing I slipped and fell while mobbing and injured my hand so bad, but when he saw me lying helplessly he just walked away. I had to call one of his friend on phone that took me to the pharmacy, I was soo hurt by this that I asked myself what if it was something more serious or I had died he would have just left me there.
I told him to his face that I regret the day he came to ask for my hand in marriage which I regret saying but I only said that because of anger, he told me he will never forget it. The worst now is that I decided to leave with the kids but he seized my passport. I told his friend to talk to him but I only worsened the matter, he was like who gave me the right to go and start saying rubbish to his friends that did I tell them how I usually insult him, and that he picked me up from the gutter and washed me up and now the only thing I do is insult and challenge him.
His ego and pride is soo much. I really need your help as I don't know what to do again. He's planning on travelling back in some months time and I don't know his intentions. He still provides for the kids, but he doesn't even care about me. I'm tired of praying as it seems God have also abandoned me. His mum that I talked to couldn't even tell him anything. Please ma help me before I lose my mind.

I wouldn't know what transpired to have made this beautiful marriage become a war zone but I feel that both of you need to return to the very basic. This is the consequences of infidelity and some avoidable errors on your side. 
I suggest that both of you should return back home and get your family and his family involved because it's no longer what you can resolve from your end without getting his family and your family involved. 
Whether you were conceived out of wedlock by an illegitimate father, whether he picked you up from the stream or gutters (really unfortunate that a man will make mockery of the background of his own wife), what matters most is that you are his wife and the mother of his beautiful children, and he owe you the duty of care, love and protection. 
He can't be cheating on you and expect you to become happy and respectful to him, he can't be slapping you and expect that you don't talk to someone else about his attitude towards you. 
It is very important that both of you return home and go back to the basics so that the issues in your marriage can be resolved. Until then, please stop nagging at him, respect his decision and give him some space when the mood is tense. 
Take good care of your children and look for a good avenue to suggest that both of you return home to fix your marriage. 

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