Sunday, July 24, 2016

How Do I Handle His Constant Threats?

Good afternoon ma... Thanks for always been there for us your followers irrespective of how unease it is, more grease to your elbow... I don't know how to handle this..
Am in distance relationship. My boyfriend always want me visiting him not considering my own schedule. ..  After our last misunderstanding which I told you about, (Read the hilarious mail here), he has been soo insecure believing that whenever am not with him that someone else is keeping me busy or that someone might ask me out..
I have tried many times to make him understand that I have got a lot to do with my time cos am in my final year in school and it's very tight for now. But what pisses me off now is that he always get so angry and threatens to replace me or start cheating on me if I won't always be available whenever he needs someone to talk to or share moments with....
Note: I know he is so fond of me.
I have tried to always be there but now I can't cos am busy and distance is like six hours drive... Am tired of the threats and don't know how else to make him understand cos I have been tempted to tell him to cheat if he wants to cos it's annoying a times, but I love him and don't want things to go wrong...
Please ma how do I handle this? We are having a big issue now regarding my coming but am busy now and he can't understand it.

To start with, anyone who constantly threatens to end the relationship or threatens to do something nasty and stupid, perhaps in a bid to persuade you or compel you or coerce you into doing something is actually abusing you psychologically. 
His attitude towards you is an excellent characteristics of an abusive partner who derives joy in oppressing or pushing or manipulating an individual using negative attributes to achieve his purpose. 
You need to watch it to avoid getting married to an individual who will always compel you to do anything by using threats and instructions.
That a man is fond of you doesn't mean that he shouldn't be considerate of your own personality, your own needs, your own challenges and your own happiness. 
If he genuinely loves you, not just having an emotional connection with your vagina, he will not keep giving orders, commands and compelling you to come but he will also make efforts and sacrifices to help you in your academics. 
Relationships is not a lady's load to carry, it is the responsibility for both the lady who is in love and the man who is loving. So if he can't even sacrifice his time to be with you, what exactly is his love doing in your life. 
Next time he threatens to leave the relationship, please encourage him to go and bury himself with other girls and possibly enjoy himself with enough sex and sexually transmitted infections too. 
Don't allow anyone to reduce your personality into a competition, you need a man who is a man in every sense of the word, mature spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, financially and mentally; articulate in his thoughts, expression, decisions and commitment to the relationship and noble in all his endeavours, not just any man who feels that he's got what will make ladies bow and worship him. 
Don't get to the point where you begin to accept every thrash all in the name of not wishing to lose the relationship, nobody will keep what is damaged or eat what is unhealthy. So why do you feel that keeping a toxic partner will guarantee your happiness and fulfilment in life? 
If he feels that you are no longer good enough for him, be kind enough to give him a ticket to go and date other ladies. Your husband doesn't need to torture you simply because he loves you but will support you and be considerate to your own needs and happiness as an individual. 
In all, you know better than I do, so let your heart guide you in making the best decision for your academics and relationship.

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