Friday, July 1, 2016

Is it too Early to Spend on Her?

Good evening Aunty Amara, I have a girlfriend and we are barely a month, is it too early to start spending on her, just as I have already started? Because I think It is quite early. Apart from that, she is still in love with her ex and I have tried by showing her care, love, attention and still telling her how amazing she is to me everyday and I also found out that she was physically abused by this same ex and also gotten used to it.
I have told her times without number that I can't beat her so she just have to get use to me, the most annoying thing is whenever we are together she still remembers her ex. We were making love and suddenly she asked me to stop and she was sober. When I asked her what the problem was, she said she was thinking about that same ex.
Anyway to cut the long story short I asked her to choose between me and the ex and she said me, so I asked her to delete the guys number, picture,bbm and block him from calling or WhatsApp if she wants our relationship to really work and she said SHE CAN'T........
So Aunty Amara please I need you advice and opinion on this. Thank you......

One of the dating rules says, do not date an individual who is emotionally unavailable for a relationship.
Another rule says, don't date an individual who has just left a previous relationship.
The reason is not far fetched, it's simply because any individual in these two categories will not have a sound judgement of what she really desire in a relationship. She may end up using you as a healing process instead of appreciating you as her own partner.
She needs to wean herself out of her previous relationship for her to commit herself to you and possibly appreciate your presence in her life.
To help her and to also save you from investing your emotions on a wrong partner, please give her some space, disengage the relationship and simply be her friend for now. Let her know the reason for your decision so that you can clear your conscience of any foul play.
Give her two to four months and don't communicate with her so that she will have the space and the time to meditate and decide who she want in her life. I won't encourage you to wait for her but you can go ahead and wait for her if you wish to.
In all, don't invest your emotions to a partner who is emotionally unavailable for a relationship to avoid disappointment and regrets when she realises herself and terminates the relationship.
Maybe I should also add, please if possible keep sex out of your relationship to help you have a good judgement of what you truly need in a lady and also hear from God concerning your relationship.

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