Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Can't Believe that my 'Sister' Can Betray Me.

Good day ma. Please mum I really need a motherly advice from you. My story is very long. 
There is this man I met two years ago, an auditor in the .... He asked me to marry him which I told him to wait because of my school. And there is this sister of mine A*** " though she is not my blood sister, I called her sister because we grew up in the same street, and I used to tell anyone that cares to know that she is my sister".
She graduated four years ago without a job. So I pleaded with my so called guy/hubby to be to give her (A***) work in their company and he promised to give her a job. 
So after some days he sent me his email address that I should tell my sister (A***) to send her CV to his email address which I did. After one week he called me that there is an interview in their company that I should send him A***'s number that he need to talk to her over the job interview and I sent A***'s number to him and after all said and done, the interview did not hold again. ...... 
Fast forward to November last year 2015, I went to visit my cousin sister in Lagos, and one day I was chatting with A*** and I told her am in Lagos that I came to buy things I needed for my make up training, and she was so happy that she asked me to come to where she is staying with her aunt so that she will take me to where I can buy the things I came to buy. I went to her house and the next day we went to the market , we bought everything I needed and left the next day to my sister's house. 
When we were talking, she asked me to be praying for her that her guy promised to marry her when he comes back to Nigeria (December 2015), she told me that I will be her maid of honour on her day. Her guy came back and they did traditional marriage without inviting me, I knew this through the picture she posted on Facebook. 
When I saw the picture at first, I was angry that she didn't tell me about the marriage but at the same time I was so happy that finally my elder sister is married. So last week I went to that my guy's company to do something and when I saw him, I was very surprised because we have not seen nor talked on phone since December last year, because he made a false promise to me. 
When he saw me he asked me to follow him to his office and when we were talking he asked me about my sister A*** and I told him that she is married, I showed him their traditional wedding pictures. 
I received the shock of my life when he (my guy) said that I should be careful about my sister that she is not a good person, that they have been dating for eight to nine months now, and he spent not less than N400,000 on her, that A*** has been telling him so many lies about me, she told him that am a flirt, that she told him that it was a man that I visited in Lagos, etc. This is a man that I have not for once missed his calls, I always pick his call throughout my stay in Lagos, that he stopped calling me because of all the things A*** said about me. 
Today made it five days my ex told me about this. It pains me that someone I respected and cherished a lot could do this to me. And the worst part of it is that I don't know how to ask her about it because she will deny it. I logged in to WhatsApp on Saturday to ask her about it and what I saw was her chats that read "(sister remember that you will be my maid of honour on December, send me your clothes measurement )
Please ma I really need your advice on what to do because she is still waiting for my response for the maid of honour thing.

I was very careful when I read your mail and I will be honest with you. When a man expresses his intentions and desire to marry you, and you feel that you are not ready for him or you're not prepared for marriage, telling him to wait may not be sufficient for him if both of you do not have mutual agreement concerning the relationship and the plans for the future. 
Assuming that both of you were dating and your so called sister couldn't even open up to you on his advance to her, but jumped at the opportunity and exploited him, I have no idea what manner of sister she is that will betray you in such a manner. 
The truth is that both your sister and your ex doesn't really care about your happiness and fulfilment in life which is why they were able to thread on gossips and deception while they were enjoying themselves. 
Your ex feels hurt because of the money he lost, while you feel pained that your 'sister' could abuse the privilege you gave to her. 
You need to accept the outcome of the relationship and learn from it. Also you need to confront your sister and ask her what she did with your ex without even letting you know about it. She will likely deny it and wave it aside but expressing your concerns will greatly help you in deciding whether to accept her invitation or not. 
Not all who is close to you is genuinely happy with you and not all who pretend to care for you truly care about you. Some are around you for what they can get, while some are working hard to make sure that you don't succeed in life. Being able to identify these categories of individuals will greatly help you to succeed in all your endeavours.

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