Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Am I Wrong For Complaining About The Money?

Good day ma, ma please I need your advice. I met my boyfriend in May, we started dating, and I do visit him. Ma it happened that I told him I needed money to complete my school fees, he promised to give it to me. 
Months kept going and he did not bring up the topic because I told him my project supervisor won't approve my project without my school fees receipt. I waited, he didn't do anything, he is working and earning perfectly fine. 

Later he called me and explained things to me, that their company is owing him for three months, that I should be patient, I said okay. He said I should pay him a visit, I went to visit him, he was complaining that his car was very bad that it needs repairing, I asked him with which money, he didn't say anything. 
Ma! Could you believe that he spent almost close to N70, 000 on the car yet he couldn't even ask me if I have paid my school fees. So in the night, I called him and asked him that he had the money yet he didn't want to give me the money. So he said they just paid him and he decided to work his car, so I asked him if the car was more important than my school. 
I was very angry, ma he opened his mouth and asked me if my parents is not suppose to pay my school fees, so I was very annoyed, later he asked for forgiveness. 
When it was time to leave, he used to go to work very early, he dropped N7,000 for me. 
*Note ma, I spent two weeks in his house and all those while he was asking me to be pregnant for him so he will come and see my parents, and I refused* 
So when I woke up I saw the money and I was very annoyed, he didn't send me transport fare, I transported myself. I called him and and asked him if is only N7000 he kept for me, he was annoyed and said that he is very surprised about what am saying, he said is only a prostitute that can do that, so I apologized and since then he changed. 
He stopped calling as he used to call, I asked him he said he has been very busy. At a time he stopped calling, for four days now ma he hasn't call, am telling you this to know if I am wrong by calling him and complaining about the money.


When you reduce your value by yourself, you don't need to ask for more because you're at the mercy of the consumer. 
With the way your partner treats you, it's obvious that he doesn't wish to commit to the relationship but only maximising the opportunity to be with you, tell you some stupid stories that he knows that you won't accept, then leave you with anything he feels like. 
If he genuinely loves you, he will at least show concern about your academic struggles, but that's your parent's responsibility while his is to invite you, enjoy your free services and then call you a prostitute. 
Do I blame him? No, I blame you who wants to get married by all means and have decided to venture on 'taste and see' relationship. 
Are you wrong for demanding more money? Yes you are because both of you didn't bargain on terms of service and even if the money wasn't sufficient, you ought to have waited until he comes back from work and plead for a raise to enable you cover up the money that you borrowed from your roommate before visiting him. 
But that is already in the past, maybe you should learn from this and perhaps attach some dignity to yourself. Does he really wish to marry you?? Nope but you can wait to verify my opinion. 
His attitude is already saying that he's done with you, but you may pray and hope for something positive.
In the mean time, please save the little stipend to clear up your bills in school and take care of your project.

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