Barren Relationships

BARREN RELATIONSHIPS..

That relationship that

makes you complain all the time, to the point that all your friends and family members know you for that;

makes you cry to sleep all the time because of what the person you are dating does to you and it thereby robs you of peace;

makes you afraid that you will get hurt or hurt yourself or come to sudden harm;

makes you feel depressed and suicidal for a very long time;

makes you compare yourself with other people and makes you push yourself to certain limits just to do things that will appeal to or pacify somebody all the time;

makes you keep adjusting and amending your lifestyle just to suit their fansies;

makes you keep seeking for advice and counsels about how to resolve different kinds of issues;

makes you come before God with guilt all the time and makes you look like a bad sheep before your family members;

is nothing but a barren relationship.

Do you still intend to keep working on it, hoping it will have a turn around and maybe get better?

Why didn't Jesus command that barren tree to bear fruits instead of laying a curse on it? Is it that he hadn't the power to do it? This is someone who made stones ooze out water and made a burning bush to stay unscathed. What will be hard to make a fruitless tree bear fruit? Instead he cursed it and the tree withered by the next day. As the Creator, He believed the tree has had its chance to yield fruit and has till that moment remained unfruitful. So He did away with it!!!

This is what you should do if you are in a fruitless relationship... Matt 3:10 "and now the axe is laid at the fruit of the tree. Any tree that does not bear fruit, is cut down and cast into the furnace."

I am not saying you should not give those relationships chance to get better. You can. But don't over pamper them. If they are just not working and you are getting overworked, instead of waiting for results that aren't forthcoming, TAKE IT DOWN AND WALK ON.

Should I Keep Up with my Boyfriend or Kick off with the New Guy?

Hello Aunt Amara

I can't seem to access your website that's why I'm in your inbox.
I'll be 28 in some months time and my boyfriend is 33; I love him yes and he says he loves me too, but communication between us is poor. I've complained about this several times but all I get is an apology and a promise to improve, but this promise is never fulfilled. 

Could He be Looking for an Reason to Dump Me?

I need advice..
I met this guy some months ago and he is based in Abuja.
We got talking and all, and I had this job I was doing, a secretary job, and resigned because the company wasn’t paying.
So when we met, he thought of finding me another job.
But I had this challenge, I didn’t finish school so I had to tell him.
I told him immediately after I met his mum.

Why is My Boyfriend Acting So Strange to Me?

Good morning ma, I knows I have sent you series of massages in the past; ma but please don't be angry please, am really hurting again.

The man I am dating suddenly changed, yesterday he told me we need to talk that he's sorry he's hurting me so much, that he's depressed and it's affecting everyone around him.

Please, Talk to my Boyfriend!

Ma'am good morning ma, ma is so sad to me that I feel so devastated right now. Ma, my boyfriend found out that I went to sleep with a man for money like ₦5,000, so he has been calling me names saying that I am a prostitute;

Should I Accept Him or Continue with my Boyfriend?

Good day ma, please advice me on this... I have been dating this guy for the past two years. I know he loves me unconditionally, I can even swear it but I don't feel the same way.

Should I Settle for my Boyfriend or a Widower?

Good evening AVL, I have been battling with this issue for quite a while now, with no one to talk to, I thought I could open up to you.

I'm considering dating a widower, and I've known him since 2011/2012.

Caught Him Cheating on Me!

Good morning Aunty Amara. I need your help concerning my relationship because right now I don't know what to do. 

I have been dating my boyfriend close to two years now, am 27 and he's 32.

Letter to Single Ladies

This is to you girlfriend: Please help yourself by doing everything you can to keep that look of disappointment off your face. I know your age mates are all married. I know your colleagues get married every Saturday. I know we need men as much as they need us. I know your mother wakes you up every morning with, " my daughter, is there no one yet?" I know you are bothered about menopause and childbearing. 

But I want you to be happy at all times. Some unmarried  ladies are not attractive,not because they are not beautiful; they are not attractive because when people look at them all they see is pain and disappointment. What has happened to that positive vibe you were known for? What has happened to the face that brought hope to others? Why have you allowed yourself to age prematurely just because there is no man yet? Your look and the glory that has left your face could be all you need to get a man hooked. 

 A good number of single women live in perpetual bitterness and depression. Many of them sleep and wake up in hatred for their fellow lady simply because they cant understand why it should be her and why God should be loving and blessing her. I really do understand your frustration. But there's no reason good enough to justify this wrong. If you love good, you will have good in your life. We all have our times and seasons in life, never pray for yours to come before God's time because that would mean pain. 

 Do you stop wanting to be married? Do you stop waiting for your husband? Well, of course not. Desiring to be married is never the problem. How you allow the lack of a husband to hold you back from the other blessings that God has for you is the problem. Too busy sulking and longing and not enough time considering that God was elevating your life in so many other ways. Why invest so much of your time and emotion into something that is not yet? I  know how badly you want to be happy with your life, but you are missing the forest for the trees.

Stop deceiving yourself by believing you must sleep with every Tom, Dick, and Harry to get them to marry you. Stop throwing yourself at men just at the sound of "I will marry you"; a good number of them only want to go in between your legs. They won't marry you; they can only use and dump you. Because men have seen high level of desperation among the sisters, they now feel they can enjoy themselves as they like just by using the word, 'I want to marry you'.

Some of them are genuine and they mean whatever they say to you, but he also understands that it's not just about good sex and beautiful figure; he knows that marriage is serious business and must be entered with eyes wide open. He wants to see a woman with great vision who will give him the necessary push he needs to become great. He needs a woman who can discuss business and issues with him, not just sex, movies, holidays, and shopping. He wants a woman who fears God because she will be his backbone and pillar. Even in their madness, men still love having a very godly woman for marriage. He wants a woman who will be a mother and raise godly seeds. He wants a woman who will be busy building lives and working with her hands, not busy destroying with her mouth. He wants a woman, not a girl.

Stop running away with

My Boyfriend Impregnated Another Lady.

Good day Avl. I'm traumatised right now, three weeks ago my boyfriend called me that he cheated on me two months ago when he travelled to Abuja and met his childhood old friend.

Is My Complaints Enough Reason For A Break-up?

Dear Amara,
Thanks a lot for creating this platform.
I started dating my boyfriend in December after a devasting heartbreak in May 2015. We were so happy together until June 2016 when he said he wanted my dad to know his intentions of marrying me by July of the next year. Because of an experience I had of my dad rejecting a spouse for me I was scared so I delayed a bit in telling my dad and I even begged him to give me time because he knew about what happened and how I felt during that period,

My Boyfriend Is Acting Strange.

Good morning ma'am, please I have something to tell you and my story goes like these. 
I have these guy that I met on social media Facebook, so both of us were getting on well on all social networks, even phone calls, and sometimes he doesn't call me I will call. We have been doing online relationship for one year and eight months now. I love this guy no question about that despite fact that we haven't met before because he is not based here in Nigeria, and according to him he hasn't been home for two years now. 

I Feel Like A Betrayer To My Partner.

Ma good evening ma,  ever since I came in contact with your page, honestly it's been happiness all through, with the advice you give to people of has helped me both in my relationship and the way I relate with male folks... Once again, thank you ma am grateful.... 
My story goes like this
Ma, by the grace of God, I have in a relationship with this guy I am so much in love with, my dream husband, my best friend, a true friend,

Did I Insult My Fiancé?

Good morning Aunty Amara,  please I want you to counsel on this case.... If I am to tell my fiance " am in your life to also help you build your empire and not just to eat from it" is it a bad intention or word to say... Because he felt like he's being insulted .... Please am I to say " am to destroy his empire or what?

I'm Scared Of Having A Quarrelsome Home.

Good day ma, thank you for being a divine help to our generation. Am writing with a very heavy heart because am so scared of making a mistake in marriage, am scared I would make a wrong choice of a life partner.
Am a 22 years old lady, already a graduate, working and doing well for myself. I've been in a relationship with a 27 years old guy but we are always arguing and quarrelling, he doesn't understand me at all and he is so domineering, he wants to be some sort of lord over me.

Am I Wrong For Complaining About The Money?

Good day ma, ma please I need your advice. I met my boyfriend in May, we started dating, and I do visit him. Ma it happened that I told him I needed money to complete my school fees, he promised to give it to me. 
Months kept going and he did not bring up the topic because I told him my project supervisor won't approve my project without my school fees receipt. I waited, he didn't do anything, he is working and earning perfectly fine. 

I'm Falling Out Of Love With My Boyfriend.

Good morning aunty, may God continue to bless you for all your good words of encouragement and love.
I have been dating this guy since May and we usually go to visit him once in two months cos he's based in Uyo and am schooling in Abia state. I love my boyfriend with all my heart that's why each time I go visit him I do all the house chores including his laundry.