Letter to My Single Sisters

My Dear Sisters,

Some of you may not like me after reading this and some of you will get more confused afterwards as some will try to talk you out of it. But I just have to, as usual, be honest with you because that was my dad’s last word to me before he passed. 

You all know I care so much about you and desire the best for you. Like I always say, marriage is the most beautiful institution on earth. But you have to make sure that you are ready for it and that your would-be-spouse is ready for it. 

I get messages from you asking for prayers to be married or to link you up with a guy. Yes, there are guys waiting for me to matchmake them with a good woman, but it’s been difficult for me. 

Some of you need to take better care of yourselves. When I say ‘take better care of yourselves’, I am not talking about expensive clothes, body cream, and all that. I am talking about you being more in touch with yourself and the environment and using what you have to look good. You cannot be eating like there’s no tomorrow and expect to look good. Eat right. Your tummy cannot be like that and you see it as no big deal. That’s a turn-off for many. 

You cannot be drinking whatever you see and expect to look good. Some of you ask to know what I use on my skin, it’s the things that are available in my kitchen - coffee, honey, sugar, lemon/lime, egg, vinegar milk, chocolate, coconut oil, turmeric, tomatoes... I do not drink alcohol and rarely put soda drinks in my mouth. My drinks are water, coconut water, and freshly made juices and smoothies, and some of my colleagues at work laugh and make mockery of me for that. You can pour all the makeup on your skin but what makes you beautiful is your ability to step out of your home with no foundation on your skin and be admired. Spend more nourishing your skin from the inside out than on makeup. Left for me, makeup manufacturers will close business. 

You cannot be so bitter inside and expect to look good. Hatred, jealousy, and bitterness dry the bones, but a merry heart does good like medicine. You cannot live in unhealthy competition with others and hope to look good. You need to release yourself!

What about your friends? Show me your friends and I will tell you exactly who you are. It’s never wise to go in a chimney while you have white on. I love and care about everyone, but I choose my godly friends and they are just a few and mostly older and wiser than I am. My life is more peaceful that way. Being the face of every party in town and buying “asoebi” every weekend isn’t life. Maybe that’s what fills the empty void in those your friends; is that what will make you fulfilled? What’s your reason for having friends? If your friends don’t help your relationship with God and make you a better person, you don’t need them. 

How do you treat others? Being rude and arrogant does not make you westernized. Using all the ghetto and filthy words does not make you a superwoman. Insulting men all over social media makes you a fool. There is power in your gentility and femininity. You need to guard it with everything you have because that’s where your natural power is. Some of you have lost your glory of womanhood and I pray that God restores it to you. Make it a prayer point today. 

A little more education may help. I am not talking about you enrolling in school. I want you to self-educate yourself. I am not like this because I have a master’s degree; I am like this because I read a lot. Yes, readers are leaders. Instead of wasting your data reading gossip about others, spend it reading meaningful articles and finding answers to those questions you have. Instead of spending too much on some useless things, spend it on books. Brush yourself up; it’s very easy. 

Above all, beloved sisters, there’s something that only the person of the Holy Spirit can do in you. You cannot be that person you truly desire to be without Him. Stop allowing society ladies and celebrities fool you. A good number of them have no peace within. Stop being fooled by the edited pictures you see. Stop getting carried away by rented clothes they wear. Stop envying riches they get from prostitution, occultism, and adultery. Stop being carried away by things they buy with the last money in their bank account, ordinary people out there are often richer than they are. Seek peace with your inner man through the Holy Spirit. Spend time with God and you will see Him renew you daily. Be filled with the joy of the Lord. Be content with whatever you have today. 

Instead of spending time finding men, spend time finding favor with God and when that man finds you, he finds a good thing and obtains favor from God. 

I love you all 

Amara. 

My Girlfriend Doesn't Love me Anymore.

Ma, I discovered my girlfriend doesn't love me again. There's this guy that has been disturbing her, I embarrassed courtesy by going through her phone and I discovered she's responding very well to the guy. She has even given him a pet name, though the guy is residing in another state. When she was telling me about the guy, she said she met him on transit from the east.

Six Categories of Individuals you Shouldn't Consider for a Serious Relationship.

Love/relationship makes you extremely vulnerable, because in your bid to connect with your partner or build a relationship with your partner, you will definitely reveal the good, crazy and the weak aspect of your personality.

This is why you must be extremely careful when choosing who to love or date.

To help you avoid wasting your time, emotion and resources, here are the six categories of individuals you shouldn't consider for a serious relationship that may lead to marriage. 

 1. Religious Dummies. 

In your best interest, you may wish to avoid dating a religious dummy. These are the kind of people that their pastor makes decision for, from what to wear to how to use their brain. 

They are so attached to their religious obligations or leader that they find it difficult to make any decision without consulting them. 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being devoted to a church/mosque or having a personal relationship with God, but when an individual is unable to make a personal decision without consulting or wholly depending on leaders, then there is a high tendency of being manipulated by those they confide in.

Should I Dump my Girlfriend for not Being Good in Bed?

Good evening house and madam.

My ex broke up with me without any reason. 

I had no choice but to move on.

My problem now is my present girlfriend, she is beautiful, tall and has good shape but not good in bed and also not romantic at all.

Are my Actions Towards Him Appropriate?

Good evening ma, please I am lead to share this with you and also get a direction from you if am doing the right thing. I have been reading your post and love how you guide people right..

I am a lady of 26 years old, I have been in a relationship, for four years now, with a man of 30 years old. Though during our second year of relationship, he wanted to come and see my people but my family suggested he hold on first till when we get a job so that we can be fully be prepared for what we are going into..which he agreed.

Something happened last three months ago; when I went to visit him, I saw lady's properties in his house; which ever since we have been dating, I have never dropped my clothes or bags in his house not for anything.

Should I Keep Up with my Boyfriend or Kick off with the New Guy?

Hello Aunt Amara

I can't seem to access your website that's why I'm in your inbox.
I'll be 28 in some months time and my boyfriend is 33; I love him yes and he says he loves me too, but communication between us is poor. I've complained about this several times but all I get is an apology and a promise to improve, but this promise is never fulfilled. 

Should I Leave the Marriage if He Insists?

Good day ma!.. I need your advice ASAP..

My hubby (bride price paid only) who I am four months pregnant for works abroad and told me before I accepted him paying my bride price, that when he marries me, we will never be apart.. Anywhere he is...I will be, be it London or Nigeria.. That he doesn't want distance marriage..

I Want to Leave, Please Tell me How!

Good morning ma. Ma, I'm very depressed. Almost suicidal. So many things in my life are not going well. In fact I feel God loves other people more than he loves me. Everything I prayed for, He gives me the direct opposite.

I wanted to be independent before 25, I really wanted to never have to depend on any man. But it's the direct opposite. I feel so so underachieved. I work but I earn so little.

How Do I Confront Him with My Findings?

Good day to you ma, God bless you richly for the good works you are doing. Please I need your advice.

I met a guy in my third year, we have been together for two years now and everything has been going on well between us. He has been very good to me and his family is in support of our relationship.

When we met two years ago, he asked me to tell him my turn off in a relationship, so I told him I can't stand an unfaithful man and I also wouldn't want to marry any man who has a child/ren with another woman, and he said he is free from all of that.

I Regret Getting Married to Him!

Good morning Aunty, please ma I sincerely need an advice from you.

I got married in 2015 to the man I love so much, he is the kind of man I have wished for but last year April he was attacked by mental illness. Thank God he is fine now though
we go to psychiatric hospital every month. He is not working for now and he helps me in my production business, I produce and he does the supply.

But these are my fears:

Heartbroken: What Should I Do to make her Stay?

Goood day ma'am.
Thank for the privilege to talk to you. I am grateful.

I am 28 years of age soon to be 29...I am in love with a female friend of mine.... I reunited with her in 2014 though we were classmates back in secondary school... She was in her finals in the university while I was doing my National Youth Service Corp (NYSC) program...

Does He Have any Love for Me?

Dear Amara,

As I write, I am still confused and wondered if my hubby ever had any love for me.

I came home on a journey, I was all stressed out and very moody(am pregnant too). That same night, hubby wanted to have sex, but I was so tired, he was touching me, but I was not really on.

Could He be Looking for an Reason to Dump Me?

I need advice..
I met this guy some months ago and he is based in Abuja.
We got talking and all, and I had this job I was doing, a secretary job, and resigned because the company wasn’t paying.
So when we met, he thought of finding me another job.
But I had this challenge, I didn’t finish school so I had to tell him.
I told him immediately after I met his mum.

His Attitude is Driving me Crazy!

Well hi, my problem is, I have been with a guy from June 2006, he is really nice, trustworthy, a no-nonsense person, fun,  basically everything, he also really loves God and takes his ministry as a musician and the church builder seriously. Everything was good till January 2017 when he left to work in Montego Bay with a pastor. He's always busy and seemingly doesn't have time for me, I remember in April, thereabout, I was talking to him on WhatsApp,

I Feel so Confused and Sad!

Good day ma.. I need your advice and that of your fans. How do I handle this issue cos I am really not happy....

We have been friends for eight years but started having sex this year (just once). He's based in Senegal, whereas am in Nigeria..though l knew him before he travelled out....

Far back in 2012, this guy proposed to me on Facebook, l really love him but the problem was that he never ask me out nor asked me to be his girl...

I just laughed over it and told him that l will marry him on Facebook, then he asked me if I can't marry him in real life, my response was that he should let me know when he is ready, and that was how his communication seized.

Could you believe this guy came back the same year, and didn't borther telling me. When l found out, I asked him why, his response was that ''why would he call me when I made him feel rejected", and  I apologised.

Ever since I got Pregnant, He's been Acting Weird to Me!

Good evening ma, I met my boyfriend in December and we started dating in January. I just found out that I am pregnant for him and he insists that I terminate the pregnancy. I told him I won't want to subject myself to such,

He's very Ugly but I Like his Personality

Please ma I need help, I was introduced to this guy by mistake (I was told he's from

Enugu state and a graduate, we had a few chat and fixed a date to meet). When I got there, he was not at the venue so I called, he told me he was almost there with a friend. I was standing outside the eatery looking all glamed and I saw two boys on slippers shoes walking towards me.

He's Acting Strange!

When my fiancé asked me out, I thought he was just trying to play me. At first, I wasn't ready to accept him until he started sending me some marital messages and later told me that coming close to me isn't a joke.
That he truly loves me, he want us to plan for our future together.

How do I Enjoy Sex with Him?

Good day ma, happy mother's Sunday. I need your help urgently

After I was disappointed by my ex, I made up my mind to stay celibate until the right person comes. I put all my mind in it to the extent I no longer get the urge for sex.

Should I Continue with the Marriage Plan or Reconsider my Step?

Hello Madam, 
Thanks for the way you are touching lives positively, it's indeed a great contribution to our society. Please, keep it up and more grace!
I have something that's disturbing me and I consider it pertinent to share it with you and your fans for a candid advice.
Am a 38 years old Seaman, who is into a marital relationship with a 27 years old lady, who's currently doing her Youth service from my house