Friday, June 8, 2018

How Do I Confront Him with My Findings?

Good day to you ma, God bless you richly for the good works you are doing. Please I need your advice.
I met a guy in my third year, we have been together for two years now and everything has been going on well between us. He has been very good to me and his family is in support of our relationship.
When we met two years ago, he asked me to tell him my turn off in a relationship, so I told him I can't stand an unfaithful man and I also wouldn't want to marry any man who has a child/ren with another woman, and he said he is free from all of that.
Recently, I found out he has been ignoring some calls whenever we are together. I asked him and he told me the caller is a colleague in the office.
So I decided to find out the truth my own way, I visited him unannounced few days ago and found out he has a second phone which he claimed belongs to a friend. I acted like I don't care, and he was guarding his phone like his life depended on it.
So at midnight, while he was fast asleep, I went through his whatsapp and I found out he actually have two kids with two different women. The first woman was raining curses on him for not coming to see their daughter in the hospital, and she told him that he is more concerned about the other woman who has a son, that God will punish him and the son.
I wasn't very surprised because I had always known that he was hiding something very deep from me. I screen-grabbed all chats and collected her phone number. I also saw his chat with the other lady who has a son for him, he told her that if not for the boy he wouldn't be talking to her, and she replied and said "he is your responsibility and you no get choice".
I left his house the next day(I didn't want to confront him in his house because he may strangle me and bury me without anyone knowing). I have only told my elder sister and she is still lost for words.
Ma, please how best do I confront him with it and also tell him that I wouldn't be continuing with the relationship?
Thank you very much as I wait for your advice. 


For you to describe his possible reaction to your observation with those choice of words doesn't in any way portray him as a good man as you claimed in your mail. 
Well, if he's the violent or the hot tempered personality, I will suggest you communicate your decision and observations through a phone call, and then inform your family of your decision. 
If he's an approachable man and you're sure that he won't turn violent or abusive if you confront him with your findings, then you may schedule a date with him in an open place and share your decision with him. 
Like you should know, he may try to plead or make excuses or defend himself, but you are the only one in the best position to decide what you feel is best for you. 
If he couldn't respect you by telling you the truth, the question is what other secrets do you need to snoop around to discover about him or his past? 
If he doesn't feel that you should know about his children, what exactly is his intention for you? To get married and then stumble on his children and then be manipulated to accept them? 
Well, the facts are with you and you're in the best position to decide whether to forgive and continue with him or forgive and forge ahead with life without him.



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