Relax, Let God Be God

If you pray and fast for something that you think you should have and you don't still get, despite praying and fasting with tears, all you need to do is stop praying and wait upon the Lord.

God doesn't need your prayers and fasting to give to you. Giving to you is part of the grand  design for your life He is working to bring into display. You didn't tell him how to make you. He made you the way you discovered you are.

Many of you that have prayed and fasted and gone to all kinds of prayer mountains, and sowed numerous kinds of seeds, still end up not getting anything but ulcers, bankruptcy, and ill treatments of all kinds from the same spiritual directors you have been giving loads of money and attention to. Many of you veer off into the dark lane and dabble into occultism without knowing it.

Have you for instance wondered about the mentally challenged women hanging along our streets? Many of them have not lived in a house for years. Yet they take in and give birth after being sexually molested by those men that don't care about their condition.

They don't pray or fast to take in. All through the time they are pregnant, they feed from refuse heaps and drink from gutters. No antenatal, no folic acid, and they don't go for any kind of medical check up. No proper care whatsoever. Many of them don't eat anything for days. Yet they give birth to healthy and beautiful babies on the refuse heaps. Will you say that God wasn't involved every step of the way?

I have come to realize that God works more effectively in situations where people show little or no care about those things they usually worry about.

I don't know why you are beating and tearing yourself up for not having a single man proposing to you and you are in your 30s and 40s or not having a child to call your own despite the efforts you have made. What are you afraid of? That you might end up old and unmarried, without kids to care for you? God sees those fears and knows they are real. But he has assured you that everything you have need for has already been provided and will get to you at His appointed time.

He refered you to the birds, grasses and lilies and asked you to study them and see for yourself that though they toil not, they are there from ages to ages being provided for by their Maker. He then tells you that you are of greater value to Him than those birds and grasses.

So do as He said. Worry not. If you are sure you have sought the kingdom of God and its righteousness, definitely every other thing will be added unto you, without fail.
I love you

Letter to My Single Sisters

My Dear Sisters,

Some of you may not like me after reading this and some of you will get more confused afterwards as some will try to talk you out of it. But I just have to, as usual, be honest with you because that was my dad’s last word to me before he passed. 

You all know I care so much about you and desire the best for you. Like I always say, marriage is the most beautiful institution on earth. But you have to make sure that you are ready for it and that your would-be-spouse is ready for it. 

I get messages from you asking for prayers to be married or to link you up with a guy. Yes, there are guys waiting for me to matchmake them with a good woman, but it’s been difficult for me. 

Some of you need to take better care of yourselves. When I say ‘take better care of yourselves’, I am not talking about expensive clothes, body cream, and all that. I am talking about you being more in touch with yourself and the environment and using what you have to look good. You cannot be eating like there’s no tomorrow and expect to look good. Eat right. Your tummy cannot be like that and you see it as no big deal. That’s a turn-off for many. 

You cannot be drinking whatever you see and expect to look good. Some of you ask to know what I use on my skin, it’s the things that are available in my kitchen - coffee, honey, sugar, lemon/lime, egg, vinegar milk, chocolate, coconut oil, turmeric, tomatoes... I do not drink alcohol and rarely put soda drinks in my mouth. My drinks are water, coconut water, and freshly made juices and smoothies, and some of my colleagues at work laugh and make mockery of me for that. You can pour all the makeup on your skin but what makes you beautiful is your ability to step out of your home with no foundation on your skin and be admired. Spend more nourishing your skin from the inside out than on makeup. Left for me, makeup manufacturers will close business. 

You cannot be so bitter inside and expect to look good. Hatred, jealousy, and bitterness dry the bones, but a merry heart does good like medicine. You cannot live in unhealthy competition with others and hope to look good. You need to release yourself!

What about your friends? Show me your friends and I will tell you exactly who you are. It’s never wise to go in a chimney while you have white on. I love and care about everyone, but I choose my godly friends and they are just a few and mostly older and wiser than I am. My life is more peaceful that way. Being the face of every party in town and buying “asoebi” every weekend isn’t life. Maybe that’s what fills the empty void in those your friends; is that what will make you fulfilled? What’s your reason for having friends? If your friends don’t help your relationship with God and make you a better person, you don’t need them. 

How do you treat others? Being rude and arrogant does not make you westernized. Using all the ghetto and filthy words does not make you a superwoman. Insulting men all over social media makes you a fool. There is power in your gentility and femininity. You need to guard it with everything you have because that’s where your natural power is. Some of you have lost your glory of womanhood and I pray that God restores it to you. Make it a prayer point today. 

A little more education may help. I am not talking about you enrolling in school. I want you to self-educate yourself. I am not like this because I have a master’s degree; I am like this because I read a lot. Yes, readers are leaders. Instead of wasting your data reading gossip about others, spend it reading meaningful articles and finding answers to those questions you have. Instead of spending too much on some useless things, spend it on books. Brush yourself up; it’s very easy. 

Above all, beloved sisters, there’s something that only the person of the Holy Spirit can do in you. You cannot be that person you truly desire to be without Him. Stop allowing society ladies and celebrities fool you. A good number of them have no peace within. Stop being fooled by the edited pictures you see. Stop getting carried away by rented clothes they wear. Stop envying riches they get from prostitution, occultism, and adultery. Stop being carried away by things they buy with the last money in their bank account, ordinary people out there are often richer than they are. Seek peace with your inner man through the Holy Spirit. Spend time with God and you will see Him renew you daily. Be filled with the joy of the Lord. Be content with whatever you have today. 

Instead of spending time finding men, spend time finding favor with God and when that man finds you, he finds a good thing and obtains favor from God. 

I love you all 

Amara. 

My Single and Lonely Life Affects Me Psychologically!

Good morning ma, thanks for the good work you are doing here cos it's really helping people's life including me. Mum I wrote to you last year and thanks for the advice I got.

Now I have a serious issue bothering me which is about relationship.

A Mail From A Happy Single Lady.

Good evening Aunty Amara, am really not here to seek for advice but to really appreciate you for all  the advice and counsel you give to us both the singles and the married. Your advice has really helped me a great deal and am forever indebted to you. I just wish to share my story and experience and maybe it might help someone out there.
I wrote to you around March about a guy asking for my hand in marriage. We started a relationship in December 2015 and he proposed in March saying he really wanted to settle down and I accepted.

My Husband is Acting Single On Facebook.

Good morning Aunty Amara! I was introduced to your page by a very good friend of mine and I have seen how you help people in their relationship and marriage. May God's blessing never cease from your life. Amen.
Please I want you to help me because am so confused on what to do.
I am traditionally married to my husband, and by God's grace our wedding will be by the first week of January next year. My husband is a very good man, he is caring and also the loving type. He has his own flaws but above all he is a husband material (lols).

I'm Afraid Of Staying Alone Like A Single Parent.

Good afternoon ma, I really need your advice in my relationship. I'm 27, a graduate, hardworking and industrious.  I'm in a relationship with someone I love. The issue I have here is that he is a military personnel,

How Did I Offend Her?

Good evening madam Amara, may God continue you to increase your wisdom. Am a single lady of 24 years am not writing on a relationship matter l just need to share my feeling with someone and l need advice too from you and your fans.
l wrote concerning a friend here some months ago who is 32 years and who stays in the village and she is not married yet (Read here).