Saturday, March 31, 2018

He's very Ugly but I Like his Personality

Please ma I need help, I was introduced to this guy by mistake (I was told he's from
Enugu state and a graduate, we had a few chat and fixed a date to meet). When I got there, he was not at the venue so I called, he told me he was almost there with a friend. I was standing outside the eatery looking all glamed and I saw two boys on slippers shoes walking towards me.
At first, I thought I was like maybe they want to ask for directions. Lo and behold they where not boys but young men that dressed down (like business men that just had a very busy day). One of them introduced himself as the person I was waiting for, (shame catch me, I dressed like I just closed work from world bank).
We entered the eatery and introduction started, he was a business man from Abia, Ngwa to be precise (I just dey smile as the introduction was going on, because it was all a mistake) I also introduced myself. He was outspoken, confident and straight to the point. Told me he wanted a girl for a serious relationship and a lot about his family, that his grandfather was the chief priest of their land and how they are now Christian since Christianity came to their land (all those while.. I was like, na Enugu state guy that's a graduate I came to see oooh).
When we where about to leave, I told him I thought he is from Enugu state and a graduate, he said there must be a misunderstanding somewhere(I confronted the man that introduced us, and he was like oooh he is sorry that the person he told me about was not who he gave my number..long story).
Fast forward to few months later (I had gone back to school, my final year), he calls me every morning to check on me and ask if I have eaten (lol typical business man). Later told me he wants to marry me, I said I will pray and get back to him.. 
Hmm, after a month I told him I couldn't marry him based on reasons I can't explain (I was not comfortable). We paused for a while, when I graduated with a flying result and awards.
We got talking again, this time to be friends, he is very considerate, slow to anger, kind, generous and loving(that business man way,  that gets you confused atimes, if he was joking or being romantic).
Now, it's almost two years of our first meeting, he opened up again that he would have been married but I am all he want and is willing to wait but I should please not make him wait any longer.
Since I was not in a relationship, I started liking him, I told my mum that a man from Abia State, Ngwa to be precise, is asking for my hand in marriage, come and see drama. She kept quiet for like ten minutes, collected his name and took for prayers, few days later she called me for a talk (you all needed to see her face.. Choi). I started all over and she said I should just forget him that he is not my husband, why did I not look for an Enugu state person if possible same local govt (as if I didn't) so I can take care of her when she is old(only Over her dead body will I marry and Ngwa man(I quickly rejected it for her), I told her I will marry him and she said she will never come to Ngwa and I should go, her hand is not in it.
All these drama is for a guy she has not seen before. I told her to find an Enugu State guy for me in two months, else I am going to Ngwa, till date my mum never shake body. Now to the guy,  he is scared and worried on what was possibly the reason I can't give him an answer.
Now my only concerns are, the guy in question is ugly, very ugly I must confess(I fear for my children. In fact, I showed my school daughter our picture and she said "this is not my daddy ooh, he look like someone that sleeps and wakes in a beer parlor"). He is almost short and I don't know if am attracted to him sexually (we have not kissed not hugged). Apart from these concerns, he has all I need in a man. 
Please I need help on how to deal with my fears and mum(dad is late). I am a graduate and 25 years old, he has given me roughly ₦200,000 for these two years(enough to marry me traditionally). He is not rich just an average business man. Please I need your advice. God bless you.

You were introduced to him either by mistake or by deception, but it is now left for you to either make him your choice of partner or friend. 
The 'introduction' has earned you ₦200,000 but has these two years earned his friendship or companionship to you? Can you call him your friend, discuss deep thoughts, and share productive ideas with him? 
Are you sexually attracted to him, comfortable with his physical looks, and contented with his personality? 
This is not your mom's journey nor your friend's need, but yours. So sit down and evaluate carefully and critically what is more important to you in your man: whether the content of his character or his physical outlook or a bit of both sides. 
Ask yourself if you can grow in every aspect of your life being with him, if you can build your future with him irrespective of his limitations and level of enlightenment. 
If you are genuinely convinced that he's what you want, and you are contented with him, then you can easily project his good attributes to your mother and let her see beyond his place of origin or any personal bias she may have against him.
When you find your husband in a man, your mum will have no option but to support you, as long as you are happy and fulfilled with him.

1 comment:

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