Monday, September 12, 2016

My Husband Clubs, Drinks, and Keep Late Night.

Good morning ma, I think God is using you to put joy in people's home and am here to receive mine too, remain blessed ma. 
It all happened like this, I dated my husband for good four years before marriage, then my husband used to receive calls from different girls and when I ask, he will tell me that it is his classmates that is calling him not knowing that he's going out with them. 

After our traditional wedding he still call those girls and they call him too. I talked and talked, one of my sister now said that is what marriage is all about, that I have to be prayerful which I did. Before our marriage we changed our contacts, and I still saw those girls' call. I now asked him how come he still have those girls' contact, he said it's through WhatsApp. 
Ma before I knew it, he started keeping late nights, drinking, clubbing, attending all occasions, the one he knows and the one he doesn't know. He doesn't give me money for up keep, only for food. I will only know that he received salary but I will not know what the money was used for. 
Every Friday he will sleep outside, he do this even when my mum is in our house, he doesn't care what I or any other person will say or do. Ma I need your advice and prayers, I don't know what to do again, I tried to talk to him last time, he said I will not be the one to stop him, that if I try he will send me packing the same way he brought me in.

You won't say that you didn't see these things coming because for four good years, there is no way he would have hidden his personality from you. 
He was a chronic cheat, deceptive, he partied, had fun as he wanted and when he felt that he needed one lady in his room, maybe because his family told him to, he came to your family and 'brought' you to his house. And to make the situation complex, your sister told you that it's how marriage is, that you should be prayerful and patient. 
Marriage is a union based on some level of agreement and mutual respect for each other. If he's not willing to respect your personality and appreciate you as his wife, I'm sorry to say that you are no longer married but under slavery to him. 
If his actions and inaction have no consequences in your marriage, there won't be any need for counselling or for you to be worried. But a man who is sleeping around with other ladies will expose his wife to sexually transmitted infections. He also have the tendency of getting another lady pregnant which puts more pressure on you. 
A man who drinks and keeps late night is also exposing you to security threats, he will also have some difficulty with his sexual performance. 
A man who doesn't provide for the family will definitely put you under pressure to provide for the whole family. 
This is exactly the reason why you shouldn't just pray and fast but get your families involved so that they will address these lapses in your marriage. 
On your part, you need to get something doing so that you can meet up with your needs and to also avoid any unforseen circumstances that may have a negative impact on your marriage.


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