Sunday, September 11, 2016

My Late Mum Doesn't Like His Community.

Good day ma, may God bless you and your ministry. Please I have something bothering me. 
I met a guy six years ago when I travelled to PH to visit my aunt who was a pastor. This man introduced himself to my aunt and showed interest towards getting married to me, but I was not ready for marriage then, but my aunt was in support because he has the fear of God.
I loved him just as he loved me but I hated where he came from and my people as well, only that my aunt was in support.
We are both from Abia state but he's from Isi-ala Ngwa, this guy is good and has all the qualities I need in a man but don't know what to do. I didn't want to lose him but was scared of my parents disagreeing to our coming together, so we started having small issues which always came from me because I couldn't open up to tell him I don't want him again. 
One faithful day he called me to tell me he was getting married, I cried and let go of him but he kept calling me because I base in Jos while he's in PH. Each time we talk I will always ask of his wife but he will say fine. To my greatest surprise, after six years of broken relationship, he's back for us to continue and we have started and things are moving on well with us but my mum is late. 
Don't know if marrying this guy will cause me anything since my late mother doesn't love where he's from. He's not married and I have confirmed that. I asked and he said that the lady disappointed him, and it's over three years now he decided to be on his own. He's 37 years and I'm 27 years old, he wants me to work on how I dress but I find it difficult to do that telling him I can't pretend to be what I'm not, and that I can't change, either he takes me the way I am or walk away and that made him angry.
I love him and he loves me, he wants us to marry but I'm keeping him pending so as to still talk to my aunt who stands as my mother now but she doesn't want to give me a listening ear. Please ma I'm confused, help me out. Thanks and God bless you.

Please endeavour to make adequate enquiries about his personality, his family background and and his previous relationships in his home town or village. Find out if truly he haven't been married, if he has a child, and if he has those qualities you are looking for in your husband. 
Your late mother has fulfilled her purpose on earth and God has used her to nurture you into the lady that you are today. It is time for you to make your own decisions and your own choices in life. Your mother won't live with you in your husband's house, your mother doesn't have any role to play in your marriage so do not use your mother as an excuse to make a decision that you are not comfortable with. 
That your partner came from Isi-Ala Ngwa doesn't mean that he will turn you into a meat or that he won't take good care of you. You need to look at his personality much more than his place of origin so that you don't lose your husband because of his place of origin. 
However, if you feel that you cannot marry any man from his place of origin, kindly let him know and move on with your life. 
Let him know what you can cope with so that he won't struggle with trying to change your personality. You need a man who is comfortable with your personality and is willing to work with you into becoming a better man and a better lady, and not a man who wants to impose himself on you and push you into becoming the kind of lady that you are not comfortable with.
Above all, seek the face of God not the opinion of your aunt and allow him to reveal all that you need to know about this man so that you can decide whether to continue with him or move on with your life.

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