This year, June to be precise, I met a guy who wants my hand in marriage, he's 32 years, very peace loving and has some moral upbringing, he's working too, he has also introduced me to every member of his family.. He's planning on coming to see my parents this September..
Aunty this guy really loves me and proves it in anyway he can, I love and respect him too.
My issue is that he wants a lady that has something doing for herself (working), and am yet to get a job, he knows that too but still serious with me, I feel like I don't fit into it.
I often hear in marriage that men disrespects a woman who depends on them for everything, and I don't want to be that lady.
Do I go ahead and accept his proposal and pray to secure a job afterwards or do I let him go pending when I get a job?
I was working before my NYSC, but nothing afterwards, I wouldn't want to be a liability to him, though for now he supports me. As it is now, I can't make any financial contribution towards our wedding plan because I don't have anything. My parents are not well-to-do.
Can an issue as that pose a threat to the marriage?
Good Aunty please advice me on what to do as my introduction is by the corner.
Do not prepare for marriage based on what you heard because no two marriage is the same, and no marriage is without it's own peculiar challenges.
The dynamics of every marriage depends on the partners in the marriage. That you're not working currently doesn't make you a liability in his life nor should you feel inferior as a result of your background.
What you need to do is think of a business, or passion or skills that you can convert into a job so that you can take care of your needs and the family. If you have a passion for interior decoration or fashion designing or catering or braiding or any other vocation that you choose, then you can discuss with him and know if he buys the idea and if he can support you in that venture.
Every man wish to marry a partner who will ease off the pressure and the financial burden on him but where that is not feasible, both of you can work on self empowerment or vocational programme or a business that you are comfortable with.
That you don't have a job doesn't mean that you cannot support him financially in planning for the wedding. You can help him by cutting down on all the flamboyance, and extravagant spending. If you wanted to buy the most expensive wedding dress, maybe you should go for something simple and beautiful, if he wished to spend so much on the wedding, you can help him to spend less so that he can utilise the remaining to establish something for you.
Don't reject his marriage proposal because you don't have a job but work things out with him, let him know your concerns and your plans or thoughts on that. Also find out what are his plans for you knowing that you are currently not working. His suggestions and opinions will determine to a great extent his perception and vision for you in his heart.
One of the greatest weapons that will help you in marriage is communication. You cannot enjoy your marriage when you are busy visualising another man in your husband. Learn to express yourself in a respectful and suggestive manner so that you can understand him better and know how best to approach him when you have any concerns or challenge in the future.
Not all men disrespect their wives in marriage, there are some who disrespect their wives and there are some who support their wives and provide all that she needs to take care of the home and the children.
While you prepare for introduction, think about what you can do pending when you get a good job to support the family and meet your own needs.
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