Friday, October 28, 2016

Marriage Has Been Hell For Me.

My dad married two wives, my mum is the second wife. The first wife had eleven kids before she died and am the only child of my mum. I was 14 years old when my dad died in 2007, life wasn't so easy after my dad's burial cos of my step-sibling. They hate my mum and I so much because they said that there is a secret my mum is hiding from me.

I asked my mum and she denied it, later my mum forced me to marry a man I knew nothing about at 15 years in 2008 when I was in SS1, and the marriage has been hell for me. I started schooling, he stopped me and said I won't go to school in his house. The man throws me out anytime he likes and I will go back to my mum, he will collect my kids from me and will not even look for me. My mum will still force me to go back because she likes money and the man is rich.
Let me not digress, please help me, advice me, am tired of this marriage, he doesn't want me to work or even go to school, nor even keep friends and to give me money na wahala. I have four kids already, last year I was hospitalized, had miscarriage and bled for days and he didn't want to take me to hospital until the day I fainted and my last baby was just seven months then.
Am just a baby making machine to him, if he wants sex he just walk into my room and force himself on me. I told my senior step-bro about this and they invited him to ask him but my mum stood there and told them that am lying, that it is not true.
When we separated, my step siblings won't let me stay in my father's house, we went to welfare then to see if they can get my kids for me but they said that they can't. That am too young to mother those children and I can't carter for them, that they will arrest my mum for child abuse. I pleaded and pleaded with them, she told my mum that the best thing for her to do is to send me back to school, that she shouldn't have let go of her only child to a man much more older than her, that she should have suffered to train me..
I don't know whether this man gives my mum money or she wants me to remain in the marriage just for her happiness without thinking about mine.. She says she can't stand people gossiping that her daughter married and divorced. All she cares about is money and babies. Am 23 years old now. Please help me, am tired.
#Thanks in advance for acknowledging this post

Thank God that you're free from this bondage and slavery your mother pushed you into in the name of marriage.
Now is the best time to empower yourself and learn some skills and vocational qualifications that will cater for your basic needs.
Now is the best time to love yourself and decide what you want and what you don't need in your life. Please do not allow anyone or your mother to push you around or make you feel inferior.
Though your step siblings may be unfriendly, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't have an abode in your father's house. Let them give you some space to organise yourself before lunching out again.
You know your mother much more than anyone else so make sure you thread with caution and wisdom before she ruins your life totally.
Also make sure that you visit your children to find out how they're doing and their state of mind. Getting custody maybe difficult because you're not working but it doesn't mean that you should abandon them or forget about them.

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