Wednesday, November 30, 2016

How Do I Get Rid of The Betrayal?

Hello Aunty Amara, good morning ma. I am chatting with my younger sister's account. As she told me about you and I have read how you advice people here too. Please ma I need your advice. Am broken and shattered in my spirit. 
I met this guy in January, we started dating in April. He seemed so perfect, everyone around thought he was the perfect one for me, he introduced me to his family. All my friends were happy for me. I won't lie, the first five months were my best. 

Then things started changing, I found out he lied to me about his relationship with one of his family friend. He told me they have never had anything but at the end I found out the girl was accusing him of getting her pregnant even though she later confessed that he is not the one. He begged so much about lying to me, I forgave him. 
In September he travelled out of the country and came back in October, that was when things really started crumbling. He now became distant, giving me excuses. Sometimes he won't pick my calls, then I started noticing a particular girl who always call him. When I asked, he gave me so many stories. 
To cut the long story short, I found out he cheated on me with this girl. He said the girl blackmailed him, he was just saying so many things. 
Aunty Amara I have not been myself, I stay on my own everyday. I don't know how to get rid of all the feelings of love, hatred, betrayal and all. I feel so stupid, my heart is bleeding. I have never felt this way in my life before. I keep praying to God to help me. It's like am losing my mind. I can't focus. I lost weight. Aunty Amara please advice me as a daughter.

It's obvious that you truly love him and cherish him so much. Maybe he's a smooth operator who knows how to get a lady to fall in love with him. As much as you are attracted to him and appreciate his personality, I must remind you that you need much more than your feelings to be fulfilled in your relationship or marriage. 
There's something that's not right with your partner and your relationship, he lies a lot, he cheats, and he seems to have a thing with the community of girls. This you must not ignore because no matter how much you love him, you can't cope with a man with such attributes. 
He may have told you so much that you can't believe that everything is crashing down, but God in his infinite wisdom is revealing some things that are hidden to you so that you can take your time, meditate and decide whether he's what you truly need in your husband or he's just a handsome container with a rotten product. 
Stop crying, gone are the days when you choose who to settle down with based on your emotions, now you need to wake up, clear your eyes and examine the reality before you to avoid getting married and realising that you can't forgive him as much as you thought you could. 
Losing a partner who treats you like an option shouldn't make you lose your mind, but it should make you rejoice and be thankful because God saved you from what could have been a marital hell. 
He's not the only man on earth, God is still able to give you a man who will make your world be full of love and fulfilment, look unto him and be hopeful.

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