Thursday, December 1, 2016

Should I Abandon My Brother?

Good day sis, Please I am having a very big challenge now that I don’t really know if my decision is the best. I have a younger brother that I love so much that I sacrificed many things for him. I came to meet them in town from village in 2009. When I came, I was with our eldest brother, after sometimes I saw that what our eldest brother promised before I came was not going to work because he was not buoyant and also keen to helping me.

I sought to leave his house and I did. I left our eldest brother’s house for where my two sisters and this younger brother of mine were staying (batcher). In the course of my stay with them, our first daughter got married and our second daughter gained admission so I was left with him.
From there I started catering for this boy. He had building knowledge and knew AutoCAD then. I did all I could to make him stand. In 2011 God started blessing me and we moved from a batcher to a self contain.
To summarize the whole story, in my third year at the university I had some money and decided to open a boutique for him because I had earlier started a similar thing for him, our eldest brother said no that it was better we bought a bus, I never knew he had ulterior motives. I gave him money in 2012 to go to Lagos and get the bus, to my greatest surprise my brother went to Lagos and bought a scrap and was working it for me.
In the process of that I discovered and raised alarm but mom swore to die if I don’t forgive him. I had to accept the bus just for the sake of mom and the entire family. Meanwhile my main purpose of doing the bus business was to raise N500,000 and settle my kid brother who just finished learning GMP as at then and the money I had could not sustain both of us.
From the day the bus was brought home till the day I sold it, I spent N1.538 million, at a time I was angry and decided to sell off the vehicle. After that I decided to move on, I told my younger brother to stand as a man and work hard to make mark in his generation. I left the house we were living in for him, I left eighty percent of my properties with him so that he will start from there.
As soon as I left, my younger brother brought in a woman. I went to him countless times to inform him of the dangers in what he was doing, but both him and the girl insulted me. I decided to let him be since he has become a man.
Late last year he travelled out of the continent without telling me, I was disturbed because I didn’t hear from him for many months. After sometime, my immediate elder brother seeing how worried I was told me that he was in Dubai, that he warned him not to tell any member of the family including me and our mom.
Few months later I started hearing that he was repatriated. Never told anyone what happened after making the entire family to borrow huge sum of money, he came back and hide himself for months before seeing me. I still welcomed him and gave him the little support I could.
I never bordered to ask about the girl though I was hearing from his friends then that he was still with the girl. Early this morning I went to church, one of our friends called me aside and told me that the girl has been pregnant all these while. Honestly I was surprised to hear that, he told me that my brother is passing through a difficult time. I had to put a call across to him after service and demanded to see him. When I drove to the junction, he blocked me from going to his house but I insisted on knowing his house. He took me to his house, I went straight to the point and he told me that the girl is at the hospital since one week after delivering through CS. I asked why and he told me that he needs N80, 000 to complete the hospital bills.
Aunt ever since then I have been bleeding at heart because I warned him of the impending danger. He has nothing doing so the foolish girl. I have my wedding plans at hand now, I have not even paid my girl's bride prize. I am confused right now. I love him so much that I don’t want him to suffer but am thinking of abandoning him this time. I am just confused and don’t know what to do. I don’t have much money right now though I have the money but it will affect my own wedding if I remove it now. Please what do you think I should do.

My suggestion is simple, fix your life, get things moving, get married and organise your family before helping him. 
You can help pay for the hospital bill and buy the basic things that the nursing mother needs to take care of her baby, but you cannot continue to spoon-feed your brother, you're not helping him really but destroying his life.
He made his decisions for himself and he should suffer the consequences of his decision. Get hold of yourself and focus on establishing yourself so that you support others when you have the opportunity to.
There's no need to question what has happened or feel bad for him, he will definitely grow up and figure out how to survive. Don't always make yourself available to pamper him. 
If he's capable of getting a lady pregnant, then he should pay the price by working hard to provide for his family.

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