Friday, November 11, 2016

My Boyfriend is Extraordinarily Boring.

Hi Anty Amara,

I am bored on my relationship.

I have dated this guys for about three years now. He is very nice, extremely caring (that I feel bugged) and very responsible. He can go extra mile to ensure that I'm happy. My parents love him and would like us to be married. Same applies to his parents as well.

My problem is that he is extraordinarily boring and I don't like it. Every activity seem gloomy with him. Every girl would want a guy that can make her laugh, but my own boyfriend is just boring.

Our conversation is just like a question and answer session, nothing more nothing less. And that bores the hell out of me. If you're in a relationship and you see your boyfriend's call, that should be enough to brighten your gloomy day, but in my own case, his calls doesn't even make any difference to me, because it's always the same line of conversation, and most times I ignore his calls.

He always suggest that we do hang out or go for a dinner together but at the end of the day, those activities do not make me happy. I am the kind of person that love having a meaningful, lengthy, and interesting conversation with people. That's enough to make my day. But with my boyfriend, our call of ten minutes must include at least five minutes of radio silence.

I am introverted myself but I know I can be interesting if I'm around people that are interesting as well. At least my friends do not see me as boring.

This is really affecting me. Day after day, I feel my love for him is depreciating. I dislike spending time with him because it's just going to be another boring day. The worst of it all is that I would take a rain check on him, just to go out with someone I find interesting. I don't even look forward to seeing his calls, messages or chat.

He loves me a lot and has built his world around me, but I'm very sceptical about being with someone that can't make me happy or laugh.

Is it really rational to break up a relationship based on this? I have endured this for three years and tried to make it work, but it seems it's not.

Though I couldn't exactly understand what you meant being extremely boring but I am trying my possible best not to sound as though I'm insensitive to your needs. 
A man who suggests that both of you hang out every now and then doesn't really seem as a boring man to me. A man who constantly communicates with you, reaches out to you, cares about your needs and yearns to be with you doesn't possess the attributes of a boring man. 
What I feel that you have failed to share with me is that you are not comfortable with communicating with him. You don't feel free with him, you are not comfortable with his personality, and you're not really in love with him, instead you're only managing him and enduring him while enjoying his care and affection. 
If indeed he's not the exciting kind of man that you are looking for, you should have made your feelings and perception known to him, and not lead him on for three good years and now look for an excuse to discharge him because of the excitement you're getting from another man. 
Since he's too boring for your liking and you don't feel that both of you can work together as partners, I will suggest that you open up to him and move on with your life. If excitement is worth much more than an enduring love, please go for an exciting partner and prepare yourself for whatever comes with the exciting package.

1 comment:

  1. why not creat the excitement yoursef? There re lots of ways to infuse fun into ur relationship.teach him,discus wit him,tell him wat u want nd guide him to doing them instead of breaking up bt u can hand him over to me as long as he is not short


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