Monday, April 3, 2017

Should I Move On With My Life?

Good morning sister Amara, sorry for bordering you cos of your advice, I decided to share my story.
Am 38 years old, see am in a distance relationship since 2013 with a guy though I have not seen him before. He lives abroad, my sister introduced him to me.
We chat on Facebook, and calls sometimes. Along the line a lady chatted me up and was asking me what I have with him which I didn't really give her any answer rather than we are friends, and before that time she sent me a request but I didn't add her, and I now went and checked the guy's friends list and saw the girl, her post and chat, calling him pet names.
I confronted him, he told me not to worry that he will address the issue, I also asked him their relationship, he said friends. Later I found out that we are not friends, all he does is to chat me up maybe with my name. When I found out and asked him, he said he doesn't want to expose his wife on a public media and stuff like that. I was quiet but not comfortable. We chat and talk but most of the time I call, if I asked why he is not calling me, he will be pissed up and tell me that am stressing him. When we started, I was not working which I opened up cos my job stopped 2012 while I met him the next year.
He told me he will be coming back home, since then till now no way. He keep posting me, we quarrel and settle mostly cos of his coming. I decided to stop asking him but we talk. I now found out am the one holding the relationship. He told me he has a daughter but was not married.
I gave him money to buy something as he said he is coming back, till now I didn't see anything including him. He told me to help him pay some money with a family relative that he will pay back before the week runs out, till now nothing.
At a time I was tired of the whole stuff I quite and told him to move on, I left it to God to judge him for my money. Even my sister that introduced us fell out with him and they don't talk anymore. If I quite, he will give me time and start calling and begging me to relax that he is coming back for me.
Part of last year we were not talking, all of a sudden he started calling that he is coming, and didn't not come which I told him once it's 1st January he should not call me and move on, he started chatting again around January ending which I was not responding, he continued I now started chatting with him, the same old story but since February ending we were not talking cos he stopped his calls.
The same guy have never for once sent me money or any gift till now knowing fully well that I am not working and he told me not to border about looking for job when I was looking out that he will be giving me N50,000 monthly and he is coming soon, till now nothing, at a time I started up a small business.
Early this year he told me he will be back by May 27th which am not bordered about. Sometimes I see myself am there cos I have not seen anybody and cos of my age.
Am just confused but somehow I have moved on. Talk sense into me please sis. 

You are really a good lady and the fruit of the spirit is in you. As I read your mail, I thought that I was reading the history of Arsenal club because your perseverance, patience, understanding, sacrifice, and commitment was stronger than the relationship itself. 
Well, I really don't know what you love about him that made you ignore all men in the world for someone you have never seen. 
You deserve better, a genuine relationship, an honest man, a purposeful and a focused relationship. You deserve love and affection, you deserve a man who will love you without treating you like an object. 
You deserve to be happy and be with a man who is wholly in love with you and not one that hides you and enjoys his other girlfriends. 
You deserve to be cherished and appreciated... So let's assume that this was a church where you were taught how to love a man who you don't know, now go for a man who is emotionally, and mentally prepared for a relationship with you.

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