Tuesday, May 22, 2018

I am Scared of Getting Married and Regretting it!

Hello aunt Amara... I don't know if you still have the previous message I sent to you...
Almost a year down the line, and I am about to marry the man of my dreams in two months time.... He is my best friend, my confidant; he pushes me to be the best, he encourages me and cares for me...BUT he doesn't earn so much, although he is a graduate, he is only in a business which doesn't yield so much while I work.
Secondly he is about 13 years older than me. I am scared ma, I am scared to lose my best friend but also scared to get married and regret it. My family is not in full support because he doesn't have a substantial job and he isn't from my tribe.
It would break him so much if I call off the wedding but I want to be be satisfied and fulfilled in marriage.
Help me big sis please.


In your words, "He is my best friend, my confidant; he pushes me to be the best, he encourages me and cares for me", meaning that he has those qualities you look out for in  your man and best friend.
In your words also, "BUT he doesn't earn so much, although he is a graduate, he is only in a business which doesn't yield so much while I work.", this also means that he is neither irresponsible nor lazy. He works to meet his needs but his business doesn't yield so much profit as you expected.
If there is something else about this man which you didn't include in the mail, I may not be able to discern it, but based on all you shared with me, I believe that both of you can unite together and build the kind of future that you desire or the kind of fulfillment you crave for.
Every Dangote or Otedola was sometime in the past like your fiance, toiling with faith, hope and patience, they earned a little but they were never discouraged. They were seen as not having a substantial job but they never gave up on their vision, and today someone like you is a staff in a bank that was established by a man like your fiance.
The real question to you is, what exactly are you afraid of that you feel God cannot fix in your relationship or marriage? What exactly is this satisfaction and fulfilling marriage that you feel you and your fiance cannot create together?
Your answer to those questions will most likely guide you in making the best decision about your relationship with him. Always remember, never make any decision based on how anyone will feel or what anyone may say, but let your decision be based on your conviction, peace of mind and happiness.
If you feel that he is not exactly what you desire in your husband and companion, kindly do let him know and save him from competing to win your heart when you may never have loved him or may never have been contented with him.
You are the one who knows him much better than anyone else, so go for whatever you feel is best for you, to avoid regrets in the future.

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