Sunday, May 17, 2015

Be Virtous; Be Wise

You want a fairytale wedding; the type you see only on Disney Channel. You can't stop looking at wedding dresses. You know what your bridal train should look like. What about honeymoon destinations? That your school mate went to Seychelles; you have to go to Mauritius or to make things easier, the UAE. I know your mother wants to brag about it to her friends. She wants your wedding to be in the news years after.

But my sweetheart, you know deep within you that the man you are getting married to cannot afford these thing; you know that you are not in a position to foot the bills, why then are you pushing it?

Don't you think that what should matter most is your happiness in marriage? How many of those people you try to impress have your interest at heart? How many of them are not wishing you a failed marriage as they say congrats? How many will be there when you have no food to eat? How many will come to help out when your husband starts getting irritated and throwing words at you because of your lack of understanding?

The worse thing that can happen is to allow your spouse to borrow for your wedding party. So many marriages failed even before the celebrations just because the man found himself in it with a very selfish and inconsiderate woman. You can't live happily ever after if the man has to start loan repayment after wedding.

 Darling, there are years ahead of you; there are many anniversaries and holiday destinations to visit if you can stand by your spouse and help him grow. If you can't have a party now, let him pay your bride price inside your father's living room with just the two families. Let your pastor or priest bless your marriage right there or in his church office. Do your honeymoon in your bedroom and hope for a better future. Your spouse respects you more and will do everything to spoil you in future when that money comes.

There's a popular saying by the Igbo tribe in Nigeria- "uwa mgbede ka nma" (better to be happier in the latter part of your life). What should matter most is the love and happiness you have found. Don't lose it because you are trying to please a society that cares less about you.

 You must not tell them it's because you don't have the money, let them know you just want a very private one. Mariah Carey, Angie and Brad are all super rich, but they chose to have it private. The country head of a multinational company in Nigeria got married some years ago, we were just about twenty guests and it was the best I have seen so far. It's even classier that way. 

God bless and help you to take the right decision. 


  1. I can't stop showering blessings on u AVL, u're simply the best. If only our ladies can heed to this, I'm 9 years in marriage and I honestly haven't stopped thanking God for giving me the best. When we started it seemed impossible, my friends mocked me that with my beauty I'm settling for a nobody, some didn't come for my wedding cos to dem it wasn't classy enough. I cut off alot of things, cos the marriage to me was far more important than the wedding ceremony. His salary was just 29k mine was 20k. Wen we got married we had no chairs for 7mths, it was just the TV set & the rugged sitting room & our mattress (no bed). The story isn't the same 2dy, God has indeed been Faithful. All I can say is the difference is clear. Ladies pls let's look beyond all the frivolities & trust God to establish us.

    1. May God continue to bless your marriage. Atleast you know who your friends are

    2. My dear, thats the same experience i'm having. I feel happy that i have a wonderful man by my side and our families are totally behind us. After encounters and talks from some friends putting down my to-be partner bc of what they feel he doesnt have and how much they feel i, with my beauty and status in life(according to them), i learnt to shut my ears and look forward to the future which i am sure God will bless for me and him. May God continue to bless your home and i pray that the same God that saw and is still seeing you guys through will be with me and my soon-to-be partner as we make this bold step.

  2. God bless you Amara

  3. Life is not a competition! Oremi ra lace yellow, emi na a ra purple! May we not suffer. Ohun ti o to, bo wa se ku. I just don't understand why people want to live beyond their means...

  4. Been saying it since I was 22. My wedding must not have more than 50 people in attendance. I want to create a memory not a ball party.


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