Monday, May 18, 2015

He is stupidly stingy, I am scared!!!

I just found you again and decided to share my world with the you. 
I met my husband in 2013 in my office we became friends very close friends that we were sharing personal issues to each other, I was not in any relationship then and his girl left him that same 2013. 

We always hang out, till 2014 February he ask me to marry him, took me to where he stayed and we travelled to meet both families. Things were very smooth till we wedded in July 2014. 
The main issue ensued, I began to see things I never saw in him, I thought our friendship would open him up but it did not instead he decided to unveil himself after the marriage. 
Where he took me to as his house was actually a friend's place where they share flats, the friend owned virtually everything in the house. 
I became surprised the day he came to pick his things down to the iron, with my condition then I felt this sharp pierce in my heart, he had nothing to say instead he said "I will replace them"
Four months nothing was done, he left everything for me, house stuffs and other expenses and I was pregnant after the wedding. 
His younger brother came back from Malaysia after deportation, feeding on me three square meal a day for nine months, I could not save a dime, I will describe him as stingy, wicked, not a giver, he is gold digger who eats where he did not sow. 
A husband of benefit,he is stupidly stingy to the extent that he finds it difficult in bringing out money for baby's upkeep because I had my baby Feb. 
For me to collect money for baby shopping I called his mum and my family to remind him of his responsibility, he has this non challant attitude concerning things, when his friend picked his belonging I had to replace some of them like TV, generator, gas cooker, and rug just to encourage him to do more but no way. 
My dear I was dead wrong instead he relaxed. I am hypertensive at 31 am sure you know what that means. He does not use to do any tangible thing and I suspect he plays bets because I caught him one day with that Naijabets and I was shocked and I asked him he said it's nothing. He does not give his ageing mother a dime for upkeep and his siblings all of them have abandoned him. 
A man who does not take care of his mother, tell me how will he take care of his wife, I could not save all the while I was pregnant because I have to take care of myself and eat healthily sometimes I go back to my family house for solace in just few months of marriage. I never got anything from him but I have been giving times without number to teach him to do that but all to no avail. 
His stinginess is in his blood and that is where I am scared. My future with him is not safe, I am at home with my family now they don't want me to go back because he has not changed, no effort at all. When I was leaving the house I left with my television ,generator but my gas cooker and fridge was still there. All the zeal and,preparation to enjoy marriage are all gone. I have lost all I felt for him, I am in deep regrets now. 
I want out because I am not happy and considering my state of health I am being careful not die young. What do you think? Please let me know when you post. Thank you.

Dear sender,
I am so sorry at your experience in your home. Sometimes we wish we knew earlier but we can only make out the very best from what we are given.

Marriage never hides the imperfections of anyone, it only exposes them.
After the pretentious dating and the ceremonious wedding comes the reality journey of marriage where you wont need any make up to impress him or any borrowed car to make her fall for him.

This is why it is wiser to look beyond what you see so that you will know the man behind his sweet words.
Understand his vision and know what his passion in life is all about.

But when you fall for his romantic songs and poetic toasting, you may likely find yourself all alone weeping and regretting.

You are married to him no doubt, thankfully he is not abusive,so you need to get busy, work, raise funds and take care of yourself and baby while you hope that someday he will change.

You will need to seek avenues to raise funds so that you will not become a burden to your parents no matter how much they have.

It wont be easy and I do not pretend that you will find it rosy however with the support of your parents,and hopefully your church, I believe God for a change.

If you choose to give up, you will also need to consider your child so that and the psychological and emotional impact that such decision will have on your child.

Please do not relent in praying for him, it takes a moment, a second for a man to amend his ways and change for good.
And there is nothing that is too hard of our God to do.

Keep praying for him and believe God that someday he will repent and be responsible for his family.

Weeping may last for a night but to them who believe, there shall be shouts of victory.


  1. na wah oo. move on please and take good careof yourself and baby. God is your strength

  2. We all need to be careful & prayeful in all that we do. God we see you through take care of or baby.

  3. My dear I'm really so sorry u are undergoing all these. It's true ur hubby has failed in his responsibilities as a husband so the only option to make things work out is YOU. God did not ordain your marriage by accident, your marriage was ordained by God for a purpose. God from the beginning knew your hubby was like that and didnt give him to anyone but chose to trust Him in your hands because He believe in you. Please don't give up rather commit him to the hands of His maker and don't underestimate the power of a praying wife. Just be strong and know that marriage is for the brave minds like yours. Don't worry God will not overlook you and you ll be proud to say you ve achieved marital success.

  4. Madame sorry to say but ur hubby is an addict, he is addicted to bets and this is a very strong issue,people like him tends to loose focus in life and it will take the special grace of God to revive him.


Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)