Friday, June 5, 2015

Am not proud of him, should I still continue with him?

Aunty Amara good day. I appreciate you really! Please I have an issue. I'm 28 years old currently job haunting but acquiring a skill for the time being. There is this guy; he is 33 years he asked me out in July last year but I turned down his interest in me but we later ended up as just friends. 
As at December same last year, he renewed his interest to date me saying he want more than just being friends with me. Though I didn't like him enough to go into a relationship with him, I decided to give in hoping I might later fall in love with him as he is a gentle, God fearing and nice guy but the only thing that's still making me hold back is the fact that he isn't smart at all, he isn't neat too, not romantic and too shy hence we don't connect emotionally. 
I have known him since last year now and he still can't look at me in the face when talking. There was a time he met my dad and younger brother in my place, he was so scared and shy to greet them that I have to force him to greet my dad, before he did. 
This doesn't make me fancy him at all cos I don't want a case where I might be married to him tomorrow and I will be the one pushing him or ordering him around before he would be bold enough to do what he has to do.
And whenever we are out together, I'm not proud of him neither am I happy or comfortable. I'm always in a rush to go home. And when asked if I'm in a relationship, my answer is always in the negative. I feel bad and sorry for him cause I know I'm not being fair to him. He do give me money occasionally for my hair keeps and I'm not comfortable collecting the money anymore as my conscience is always judging me.
The only reason why I'm still with him is because I thought with time, the feelings will spring up but it's been more than nine months now and nothing has changed about the way I feel for him. Please aunty advice me, I don't want it to look like I'm being too selective or should I still continue with him hoping that things would change.
Dear sender,
If he did ask you out and he requested for more than friendship with you then he is not as terribly shy as you described in your mail.
I do not know specifically what you need in a man and in a relationship but never you manage a partner in hope that he may change.
You need top love his personality today and believe in him well enough to be patient as you grow in love with him.
If after nine months, he is too dirty, very shy, terribly dull and not your kind of man, I'm a bit worried what your friendship has added to his life but also I would suggest maybe you need to let him be instead of abusing his personality with your many complaints.
Relationship is like a friction, it rubs on each partner to make a positive impact in their life.
If your not proud of him, please be kind to him by letting him go.
He may feel bad but he would be better with the truth than deception.
Can he change? Yes he can with love, patience, wisdom and maturity if mind.
But if nothing have changed, ten its time you consider either changing your approach and perception of relationship or consider leaving him so that you can meet the partner of your heart desire.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Designed by Tunde Sanusi (Tuham)