Tuesday, June 2, 2015

I dislike the opposite sex, how can I loosen up a bit?

Evening Aunt Amara, kudos to you for this platform you have provided for both singles, wanna be married, married and divorced to express themselves. I'm a student but currently outta school doing some hustling but will be going back to round up ma degree as soon as possible. 
Over the years, have developed this feeling that all girls are the same and are bad. 
About eleven months ago, I came across an old secondary school mate of mine, one thing led to another we made out just a one night thing, but since then have never been myself.
Have gone through series of tests and I was diagnosed with Staphylococcus at the initial phase, repeated another this year and I appear to have E.Coli and have done my HIV screening four times just to be sure, which the last one was in May and all was negative. 
And since that day I made out with her, have not had sex with any other lady till date cos I wanna make sure am okay before I engage in any sexual activity. But my question is: why do some ladies even men out of their callous mind decide to engage in unprotected sex knowing fully well that they have one STD or another? Though, I take full responsibility for my actions and even though I was drunk, I don't think the blame should be on the Alcohol for not protecting myself. 
And this has made me to dislike the opposite sex and coupled with my past relationship experiences, I see every lady as a suspect until proven not guilty. 
I'm afraid to get into any serious relationship lately cos of fear of STDs and infidelity. 
Please Ma, what can I do to loosen up a bit. Please do post this as soon as possible. I'm 24 years. Thanks a lot.
I skipped a part, After I made out with her, I stopped all communications with her cos she lives same area where I hustle and I don't even act like I know her since then. 
Have spent money for treatment both foreign and local drugs including herbs. Consulted about two Medical Doctors on the issue and the last Doctor told me am okay but I know am not yet. 
Could it be that she did something to me spiritually for stopping all communications with her or what?

Dear sender,
Let me start by saying, if the doctor said you are okay, then you are okay. You need to learn to believe that trained medical personnel did not go to school to learn how to tell lies to impress you.
If you are not convinced then you may try another hospital for confirmation.

Secondly, I may not want to defend anyone but there are some sexually transmitted diseases that are not contracted from sex alone but can be contracted from dirty toilet and poor hygiene.
It then depends on you to find out where your partner contracted the infection and also encourage her to treat herself to avoid spreading the infection to other men.

Why some people go about sharing STDs may not be known to me but i can tell you that a greater percentage of youths and individuals are ignorant of their health status.
Some do not know the state of their health nor do they take their time to go for check up until there is a serious symptoms which will force them to patronize the herbal dealers on the road who use speakers to advertise all forms and sorts of medicine.

Then again when they feel they have been treated, they continue from where they stopped.
Many do not appreciate medical tests and diagnosis and this has made many of them to become untrained professionals in self medication.

These are what makes many vulnerable to transmission of infections.
Did she deliberately do that to you? I cannot tell but you need to talk to her and encourage her to treat herself.

You decided on what you wanted, and you went for it, for the fact that a lady had an STD does not mean all ladies are guilty of her undoing.

Just as not all men are into one night thing, so can we not assume that all ladies are infected or flirts.

Take your time to build on friendship and not on sex experience.
Get to know the lady beyond her body, understand her world and her vision.

Appreciate her personality and seek to build her up by the way you relate with her.
When you meet a lady who has values,you will appreciate the fact that God had good intentions when he created ladies to be of help to men.

Do not conclude nor feel afraid, its part of growing to make some mistakes and learn from them.
You are responsible for the kind of partner you attract, the kind of relationship you experience and the kind of life you live.

Get your priorities right and you shall enjoy the benefits of a refreshing relationship.

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