its been one year and six months since i have been married and blessed with a son but the problem is i hate my husband..
we have been through a lot of minor fights not physical but my heart has just stopped feeling sorry for this man,he is so arrogant and also backslider,so hardhearted..
He only comes home on weekends but when he is at home he will only be on his phone, never has time for me and my son..and every time we argue in the house he informs his family and turned them against me however i have never informed my family about anything about my family..
Please advice me, are we beyond repair, when hatred has taken over like this or is it normal?
Dear sender,
Your marriage is not beyond repair, these are some of the experiences that comes with being one with your husband.
The moment when you no longer guess of his personality but everything is exposed to you.
This is the moment when you feel you married the wrong person and yet feel helpless about it.
I assure you, this too shall pass.
Look beyond the minor fights and his weaknesses and you are left with a man who is yearning for your love, help and support.
Look beyond what you need and your desires which he ignored or never attended to and you will realize that you are only fighting a battle of supremacy in your home.
Its time for you to revive your communication in your home. Do not let your son take the place of your husband.
Make out time to cheer him up for being a good daddy to your son and a good husband to you.
In his weaknesses, he has been responsible to your need, please do not forget in a haste, the lovely days and the sacrifices he paid to be with you.
Appreciate him for being a man who fights daily and wins the daily bread for his family.
Hating him will only hurt you the more and keep you far away from you and closer to a strange woman who may tempt him with some attention.
Revive the fun in your home, do not be too busy that you forget that your husband need you more.
Send him messages of appreciation and respect to him.
Remind him of those qualities that made you desire marriage with him.
Suggest to him what he should consider but never force your way through.
Listen more to him and talk less.
Communicate more with him and complain less.
Pray for him and never relent.
A praying wife, will always keep her home full of love and gratitude.
Continue to bring your family at God's alter and pour your heart unto God.
You shall overcome this phase I assure you, be cheerful, and full of hope.
No persons can successfully amend(permit me to use that word amend) another person without God's intervention. Most people change not because others persuade them but because they want to change. Madam, I urge you to do your best to keep the marriage though it is frustrating when your best is not yielding fruit. The only way out of marriage is death but until then, you must endure. I believe you must have tried everything in your power to fix the marriage before bringing it here. Anyways, look to God: He might favour you.
ReplyDeleteGod is your strength. Be prayerful and show your hubby more Love and care. Buy him gifts ,tell him sweet words, appreciate him always
ReplyDeleteMarriage is for better for worst. Learn to face challenges and solve problems than shying away with some lazy words like "I don't love my husband". That's cheer cowardice.
ReplyDeleteWe are experiencing almost the same. My husband even almost raped by cousin and chased my 2 neieces. its that bad. I feel like this most times in my marriage of 5years but I have chosen to follow God's plan for marriage. I try to be faithful to my God, trying to show him love(learning to respect him as the bible tells me not bcos he deserves it) and asking God daily for the grace to forgive him no matter what he does. When this feeling of hatred comes, I tell myself that I need to stay cos I want my children to live with both parents not from broken home. I remember our mother of old who despite their farming activities and emotional turmoil some went tru, still worshipped their husbands. I always tell myself that if single mums, widows and mothers of old were able to cope, I can cope. Above all, I became a worker in church to get more busy for God and get closer to God. With Gods grace, I am coping and I am happier than I was in the 1st and 2nd year of marriage. Not bcos he has changed, but I chose to get a life outside him, afterall I was happy b4 I met him. Just imagine if he was dead(ie those times he is not around) would you not be able to cope? somehow, you need to deciede to cope and you will see God's grace at work in your life.....Always remember that Jesus loves you and will never give up on you! You can live happily....
ReplyDelete