Saturday, June 6, 2015

Lost my best relationship because of a misunderstanding!

I find it hard to understand these people called women. Just today I read a story of a lady who was in a platonic relationship wit a guy but d guy lavishes money foolishly and which she was able to inspire the guy to invest his money in building two houses and have other assets . Along the line she started developing feelings for the guy and instead of her to open up her feelings she kept numb. 
During that period she lost her father and was in a mourning period so she told this guy that she needed space which the guy gave her the space and that was how they separated. 
After a few months apart,today she heard the guy was about to get married,now she is complaining bitterly how she feels bad and wish she did not chase the guy away and how she is madly in love with the guy. Do you females think men are clairvoyant(mind readers)? I have heard of women having issues bugging them and instead of them to share it with their partner they would rather keep shut & expect a man to automatically know from her countenance what was bugging her. So I decided to share my own story to enlighten both gender. I was in d best relationship of my life,we started dating 2014 February, we had dated for one year and three months,we were the perfect couple and always happy but our problem was misunderstanding which generated into serious quarrel. One irrelevant issue could cause quarrel which would grow into insults and it had happened thrice. The fourth time it happened in March 2015, it got so intense,she caused it but I said a lot of vile words which I regretted but she started it. I loved her crazily more than words could express despite the fact that she was a single mother & was married but divorced now and she is 36 years while I'm 33 years. 
I loved her beyond all these factors. I spent more than two months begging her to forgive me & I promised it will never happen but she was obstinate & adamant. Up till today I still find it hard to phantom that the one true person I loved so madly is no longer with me. 
I find it hard to accept how heartless she was,she insisted she needed space cos of the quarrel and I moved on. I didn't know if she meet someone else or what,but till today my heart still bleeds & I find it hard to forgive her. I tried my best,did everything I could to work things out cos even in my dreams I would never believe we won't be together. 
Although after begging for two months i got more angry and sent her more villainous message out of my pains, hatred and bitterness. I tried to at least end on a good note with her and still be platonic friends but all to no avail. 
I'm not a mind reader to know what her plans were cos she was full of exerting that attitude of putting me in suspense. I don't know if she was planning to punish me for a while before settling cos my family and friends had begged her but she refused before I got angry and sparked up to hell with her. 
Some friends say perhaps she had found someone else & was cheating cos they say its impossible for a woman to insist in ending a relationship which she loves the guy madly without her having someone else on the side. 
Now they have been able to convince me that she cheated. Although throughout our time together she never gave me any reason to doubt her and even some times I discreetly spy on her FB,text message,Whatsapp,BBM but never saw anything that would make me doubt her so I trusted her with all my heart. 
But I'm still in confusion can a quarrel make someone you love but because of quarrel end a relationship which she used to say I'm d best she ever had. I'm not trying to make excuses for my wrong,but she forgot there was more devious & worst people than myself even though ours was just quarrel. 
Why did she not at least let go of it. Its just so painful being in suspense and confusion. 
Right now I'm filled with pains & bitterness cos i'm finding it hard to ever be a good guy or love anyone else with my heart. I know my imperfection/flaw is temper which usually I voice out vile things when I'm angry but can NEVER raise my hands to hit a lady instead I'ii say painful things to hurt her. 
I'm working on myself & pray God gives me the strength to over come this weakness. Even friends have discouraged me on the issue of loving a lady cos I surround myself with friends my age who are players,who sleep with women and change them like boxers. 
They said what am I looking for with an older woman when there are younger one's to sleep with and dump.
Dear sender,
Ladies are not as mysterious as you painted in your mail however, there is a limit to what anyone can condone no matter how much they may love you.
In your mail, I saw a self righteous man who was in love with an old single mother who was arrogant, disrespectful and terrible.
You were doing her a great favour so you had the right and authority to insult, emotionally torture and say all sorts of vile things because you wanted to retaliate for her insensitivity to your demands but you forgot that she has been enduring all your shortcomings even without complaining nor saying all sorts of things to you.
I feel you need to work on your lips. A man with your kind of lips will make a terrible husband because he would be a mouthpiece to anyone who cares to give you his or her time.
Please you can give a lady the whole world but never you say things that may reduce her to nothing.
For a lady "faith cometh by hearing".. what you say to her on a daily basis.
Just as you spoke like an angel when you met her, you need to pamper and always talk to her that way, else you may lose her to another man who understands how to treat a lady with great love.
Even when she maybe hurting you, be patient with her and give her some space but do not say terrible things to her instead remind her of your love and your conviction about her personality.
It would make her to even apologize before you know it.
As for your relationship, please give her some space and give her some time to figure out what she need in the relationship and from you.
If she comes back to you, then you can apologize and resolve things with her.
Please be mindful of those you keep as friends, to avoid destroying your vision with a wrong company.
If men who are as old as 30+ derive pleasure in changing women like boxers, then they need prayers because their case is indeed pathetic.
Pray and commit your ways to God who knows what you need and knows who is best suited for you.
Pray that you would grow in wisdom and understanding even as you prepare for marriage.
This is only a preparation phase for your marriage, with love, wisdom, patience, understanding and mutual communication, you would appreciate the beauty in treating a lady with utmost care.


  1. Your problem is that you have bad friends, who believe you ought to be changing girls like boxers. I can imagine how much you hurt that lady by your words. Your so called friends lied to you because they wanted you to come to their level. If she forgives you fine, if not your next relationship you should learn to control your tougue. It's better you say nothing than to say rubbish.

  2. So these so called friends who change women like boxers know exclusive details of your relationship? Soo sorry for you. Im glad she knows her worth and won't settle for less.


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