Sunday, June 28, 2015

She complains about my family.

Hello ma,I have a problem in my relationship and I need your advice. 
I have been in a relationship with a lady for six years now, last five months I proposed to her and she accepted before I left for Dubai to come back after a year to marry her proper. 
she agreed and the relationship was stronger, though I have  made my intentions known to her people and that of mine. 
Though she has been complaining that my people don't seem to like her and they don't show her love,but her people loves and welcomed me very well, just last week some of my people called her and started blaming her that since she moved into my life that  there hasn't been any improvement rather is the other way,that she used charm on me to be giving her family all my money,but that's not true. 
Just last week she ended   relationship, that she can't enter a home where she's not welcomed. 
But I have sorted things out with my people and made them understand that it was a misconceptions of her,that she is good. 
But she just told me it was over last week. What do I do please, I love her so much, if I loose her I don't think I can give any woman these emotional attention again.

Dear sender, 
In as much as you have sorted things out with your family, you need to do more than just sorting things out because they have a disturbing perception of her personality and by inference her family. 
If they view her as a diabolic lady, you do not expect her to be comfortable with such because if your marriage experience anything in the future, she would be the first to blame. 
You need to understand her worries and fears and then ask yourself some critical questions. 
Will you protect her should your family directly or indirectly attack her or will join to condemn her? 
Will you be able to continuously defend her in the presence of many who may have one thing or another about her village, town and state of origin. 
I hope a time won't come when you would see her as a gold digger who fell in love with you because you mentioned dubai to her. 
These and many more are the reasons she may not have been as happy as she was when you proposed. 
You need to constantly assure and reassure her that you would be there to protect and defend her from the opinions of others about her. 
Remind her of your plans and vision for her and encourage her not to give up because of what happened. 
Take your time and be kind and patient with her, she would accept you back when she see the genuineness in your heart. 
It's imperative for you to note that you cannot tell her to live with your family when you are not around as that may bring a lot of misunderstanding and stress in your family. 


  1. Hello! You might need to convince your family more on the issue because no lady will like to go into a family where she is not fully accepted by her inlaws. You need to put yourself in her shoes putting into consideration the fact that she is a lady who is about leaving her family totally to start a new life with you and believe me, it's very normal for her to feel the way she does because she will need your family to take her as their own daughter.

    Sir, just know that talking to her alone might not convince her, but if your family have agreed to accept her wholeheartedly, let them be the ones to convince her with an open arm and with that I hope she will change her mind. May God bless you as you talk to your family for a change in attitude.

  2. Dear poster, she have no biz with your family only but you, why will your family interfered in your relationship,that is your private life they are not supposed to interfere unless you ask them to. Give them serious warning to stay away from your private life. Talk to your babe tell her to forgive them beg her she will understand. #Ella


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