Tuesday, July 21, 2015

His job dampens the flames!

Hello Mrs Van Lare, Thanks for the good work you are doing. I need an advice on this issue bordering me.
I am happily married and God has been faithful to us. The nature of his job takes him out of town for some weeks and he has stipulated number of weeks he spends with us also.
Before now, anytime he is working onshore, he uses any break to run down home "unofficially" for us to enjoy some intimacy.
Recently, Some changes in his job function resulted in him working in deep offshore, He could not come until the shift is completed and this shift sometimes runs in weeks and months. This has really put both of us under some kind of pressure though God has been seeing us through it all. Most times we talk on skype and sometimes talk every and anything, sometimes "dirty" and raw.
He wants us to start having some visual intimacy to help him ease off some sexual pressure anytime he is out of town. I am really not comfortable with this as I feel its masturbation and could open evil doors to my peaceful home.
My husband is a disciplined man and very understanding, He sacrifices a lot for my happiness. We have discussed about this and I expressed my concerns which He accepted. I really feel for him and know what he might be going through.
I understand it will not be easy for him. Please what can I do? Is my thinking wrong? Is there anything I can do to help him?
I am also afraid that this pressure if not handled properly could make him develop some bad habits like watching porno etc.
Please counsel a sister in a dilemma.

Dear sender, 
Nothing is dirty or raw if the man you are talking about be your husband, then everything is clean and beautiful unless you don't enjoy the pudding. 
Anyways I understand the pressure that his job has placed on your marriage and I know that it may not be easy for him. 
He will cope with time and with your support by constantly communicating with him. 
Always let him know every every, remind him of how much you cherish him and assure him that once he stepped out of the rig, of course there must be bumpy offers for him and him alone. 
I wouldn't suggest that you use Skype to visualise the drama not because there's anything wrong with that being your husband but because you have no idea who may hack into the account and take a peep of the Romania capital or how his environment in the rig looks like. 
Please continue with the communication and companionship that you give to him and support him with prayers. 
Send some sweet nothing messages to him that will always assure him that no boy in your church is admiring you. 
Let him know how the house is and always ask him how he's coping, don't forget to check up on his big boy.
With love, communication and your prayers, nothing will go wrong I assure you. 
All the best. 

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