Monday, July 27, 2015

I have lost faith in love and relationship!

Good morning Mrs AVL, Please help me and advise me . 
I used to be one of those that can easily advise someone to move ahead, if a guy doesn't want you, let him go, it sounds so easy and now I am in that shoe and letting go isn't so easy. 
I am a 28 year old lady, a working professional. I have always known what I wanted in a guy so I have been waiting. 
By every normal standard, I am a good and decent lady. 
I met this guy last year and we so clicked, he was all and more I wanted in a guy, he was my perfection and for the first time in my life I felt love and it was good. 
Three months later, he proposed and I accepted, we started the journey of meeting our families, his mother at first sight didn't like me, she was so opposed to it, I wasn't surprised, many mothers are like that, I bore her no grudge and I believed I would win her over with love and care, my parents were sceptical but after much persuasion, they finally accepted him. 
Then things started changing, my love started withdrawing, I knew there was a problem, I am very realistic and sensitive, I tried to talk to him, he confided being pressurised by his mom, he promised me that it doesn't matter though. 
I kept praying and hoping, we started talking less, hanging out less , everything became less until three months ago he told me that he can't go against his mom's wish. 
A guy I fought my family for, a guy that I let all go because of him couldn't stand up for me? 
I was so broken and felt so betrayed, I have become a shadow of my former self, I have lost faith in love and relationship, am so afraid how far this is going to affect me. 
Please I need help. Let me know when it is posted. 
Thank you Ma and God bless you.

Dear sender,
I could feel your pains and disappointments from the way you wrote. I know it may have been very difficult for you especially knowing the kind of commitment,devotion and sacrifices you invested in the relationship to make your vision a reality.
No word maybe enough to console you but I would attempt to share one or two tips that would help you understand why you do not need to give up or lose hope in God who is always faithful even when you may feel otherwise.
My dear a man who is not properly weaned from his mum and dad cannot make a decision about his happiness and prosperity in life without the permission, approval and instructions of his parents.
It does look like something that doesn't matter but most marriages have been crushed by the overriding decisions of the parents over that of the couple.
It is a very serious red flag in a relationship, one that is too significant for you to ignore.
Granted that you loved him so much ,if the opinions of his parents was more importance than your happiness and the success of your relationship, what really can you do?
Wait for him when his mum may have as well brought another lady for him?
Wait for him while you lose your happiness hoping that someday he may be back?

What if this was an act of God to save you from a miserable marriage and guide you to his perfect will for you?
What if God used this to help you realise that whatyou so much cherish may never be what you needed in life?
Sometimes an act of God never looks great in the beginning.
Instead of weeping and putting your life on hold, please seek God's face, please listen to his still small voice whisper words of hope, encouragement and assurance to you.
Please pour your heart out to Him and withhold nothing. Let him know how you feel and please surrender all to him.
Please do well to return his ring to him with all gratitude, thank him for making you feel loved in your life even though it never ended as you prayed for.
Wish him all the best and bid him goodbye.
That a man disappointed you doesn't make God less of who he is: the loving, merciful, kind and adorable God.
That a man left you doesn't make your life less important to God nor does it mean that you wouldn't find happiness in life and with God.
If after three months, he was convinced by his mother's opinions of you, then you need not wait for him when you could run to God whose plan and purposes for you is permanent and ever the same.
I would leave you with this.. What has God told you concerning this?
Have you heard from God?
Always remember that God cannot disappoint you, because He is simply God and would use any means to perfect his promises for your life.
All the best dear.


  1. Dear,don't you think you should be inviting us for a thanksgiving party??? You loved a 'half-man',and God in His lovingkindness,delivered you from future calamity. Don't you think you should be praising God for what happened,and lifting up your hands to Him? What kind of happiness do you expect from a mummy's boy,who is not matured enough to know what he wants,go for it,and take responsibility for his choices? I know it may be hard to swallow,but you loved the WRONG MAN. And,thank God it didn't work out. It is time to move on! ‪#Quick‬Downloads™101

  2. Diva Amara with her discernment. I love her any day. My dear poster, I feel your pain but adhere to Diva's counsel. My first love, the only man I ever loved did exactly what you narrated. In his own case, it was his Aunty because the mum was late.He adhered to the aunty's advice and married their village girl. I perfectly did what Sister Amara said and my family supported me. Iam very great and happy now.So, clean your tears and know he is not man enough ok. I will keep praying for you.The right one that will worship you will come.


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