Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Should I go back to my ex?

Good pm, Ma'am. I really appreciate from the depth of my heart how you make out time to tackle people's issues and post their problems. May God continue to uplift you and strenghten you.
Please my story is a bit long but i need real advice from you and your fans to help me make a final decision.
I had a boyfriend whom i dated for a year and some months. He is 31 years old now and i'll be 24 years in the next two months. During that period he was the one taking care of me. He bought jamb for me and also gave me money to go write it cos i sat for that exam in another state. He also gave me money to buy my post ume forms.
  He introduced me to his parents and they accepted me and his siblings also. Within those period we always had issues over infidelity cos at a point my ex started calling me and sent me money but i never had anything to do with him at that point.
We were just like friends besides we don't stay in same state. My boyfriend on the other hand always kept in touch with his ex who is married but he claims they are just friends.
   Last two years Dec i noticed i was pregnant and I decided i wasn't going to keep it because my boyfriend was stil searching for a job at that moment and keeping it could aslo make his parents face penalty in their church. I got an abortion by Feb last year and by March he got a job. Yet we were still having issues. He told me several times he doesn't want to date me again and i kept on crying pleading with him to stay with me but it got to a point i couldn't beg anymore and we both decided to go our seperate ways.
   Its been a year now since we broke up and i'm finally getting over him, now he is back and wants us to be together.
I have a new boyfriend now but i'm dating but i don't love him. Besides he is the type that likes drinking and hanging out with friends a lot but i don't like that. He hides me from his family members claiming he is the last and doesn't want to disrespect his siblings by showing me to them not to talk of his parents.
I know most of his frnds. I like him because he is calm and easy going. Easily forgives and has a soft heart. I don't know anything about him, his plans or how he wants his furure to be. I still love my ex because he has some qualities i like in a man. He is serious minded, principled, knows what he wants, focused, love me and loves my family as if it were his own. He is always bothered about my future and encourages me but my boyfriend never bothers to know if i'm stagnant or moving forward.
Even if i ask him about himself and his plans, he doesn't tell me. I kept asking him what his plans are to get a new job and take responsibities but he never shares that with me.
He is 30 years old. I never begged him for money and he doesn't give me. I take care of myself very well. I don't know if to continue with him or go back to my ex because i love him or leave both of them. I'm so confused. I really need your advice ma'am.

Thanks in advance

Dear sender,
You don't enter into a relationship out of pity or sentiments or your personal interest.
You loved your ex so much but at a point the love wasn't enough to keep him as he deliberately decided not only to help you abort your baby but to also leave you for another lady afterwards.
You then decided to move on (in your words) and then found another man who loves you and you accepted to date him.
You knew so well his flaws and shortcomings but decided to hang in there until your ex came back before you suddenly realized that he is full of flaws and doesn't have a family or future.
That is where I feel you could have done better.
You don't need a new partner to realize that your partner truly isn't what you deserve.
You don't need an ex to remember all the shortcomings of your partner.
If you don't see what you seek, do not remain at that spot,leave and search elsewhere so that you don't end up inflicting pains to those whose crime was that they were only humans yearning for love to be better and responsible.
Since you have realized that your current boyfriend doesn't have the qualities you desire in a man,be kind enough to let him know and break up with him so that you can be free to fall in love with another.
As for your ex,you need to discuss things in details with him so that what happened in the past won't repeat itself.
You need to find out what made him leave in the first place and why he has suddenly realized that you are the lady he so much couldn't live without.
Remember that this is a risk and you have to consider both the cost and consequences of any decision you make on this.
Maybe you should pause a while, pray about this before taking the necessary steps.
Your peace of mind, happiness and emotional security should be your priority with no sentiments.
Maybe I should add, no excuse can justify an abortion.
You may have the right over your body but not over a life created by God.
I hope and pray you don't tow that path anymore.

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