Saturday, August 15, 2015

All I Seek is Her Attention.

Good evening Madam Amara,I sincerely appreciate your effort in building and amending homes,May God increase you the more.
Please Post this for me cause I need this advice before I take the any action.
I am a man of 32 years and engaged to a lady of 26 years. Is a distant relationship as we live in different countries.We met around 2005,dated about three years and broke-up.We later got back in 2014 and when I proposed after one year of our reunion, we both prayed about it because we are born again Christians and have also decided to hold on to God's standard of no premarital sex. 
My problem now is that she hardly gives me attention,she doesn't call and hardly chats with me unless she has something bothering her then she will fill my inbox with messages.
She confesses love to me but her actions says otherwise. Highest she does is to send me "please call me" or give me a missed call.
She can stay for days without asking how am faring. I do all the calling.I send her money every month for her upkeep and so doesn't have excuse for not calling.
I have spoken to her about this in love,yet no change.I have complained and got tired. I make sure that she is happy and never lacks my attention even if is in the midnight. 
All I seek is her attention,yet I rarely get.
Am devasted and thinking of calling off the engagement.Yes "I LOVE HER" but at the same time am in pains and this makes me lose focus. 
Our families know about us,so is not a hidden one.
Please what do I do.Thanks

Dear sender, 
I am trying to make up some excuses for her being that you and her are in a long distance relationship and she doesn't understand the essence of communication nor does she appreciate your sacrifices and efforts to making your relationship work out as you desire. 
I am also trying very hard to make up another excuse that she could be so busy and as such couldn't find out time to at least show you some courtesy by calling you even if it be for one minute. 
I am also feeling that this could be her nature, in which you may need to understand her temperament and help her grow up to appreciate communication and commitment with her attitude. 
The reason why I said I was trying so hard to make up an excuse for her was because, ordinarily that was an attitude of a selfish lady whose intentions were to get as much as she could and probably or possibly bid you farewell. 
This may not be the same if she doesn't receive anything from you nor does she have any source of income or maybe if that was her attitude in which case, you definitely would need to do much more than doing all the calls and sending all the gifts. 
Please I would encourage you to make out time to have a date with her and then discuss about this in details. 
You may do well to refer this to her so that she may read and make reference to your feelings about the relationship. 
Getting married to a selfish partner is simply a seal on a dangerous good. 
You will have to be the one to always communicate, beg, appreciate and possibly sacrifice yourself while she simply sits and control your emotions when she needs to. 
That is not in any way healthy nor will it be easy for you no matter how much you may love her. 
When you must have discussed this with her face to face, then you may decide if getting married to her would really be helpful for your ministry and vision in life. 
Desiring to be appreciated and celebrated by the one you love is a need that all races and ages yearn for, that is what makes love unique from all other attitude of life because love seeks to touch the life of another selflessly just as much as we desire such for ourselves. 
Pray about it and be patient with God who knows what you need much more than you think or imagine. 
Continue to express your thoughts and feelings about this and why she needs to make amends. 
I pray that God will perfect your heart desires and give you peace. 
All the best dear. 


  1. Hmm,.....if whatever you think you share,is not MUTUAL,please shut down the relationship. She is not doing you a favour by marrying you,and vice versa.
    2. It is not enough to marry someone you love,you marry someone you love who has a WISE HEAD ON HER NECK. Don't just marry a woman you love,marry a WISE WOMAN. Anything short of this,will amount to gradual suicide.
    3. Some people are sick and not yet ready for marriage. Some are just ignorant. Find out where she belongs,and act accordingly. If she is ignorant,but not just willing to learn,but also passionate about wisdom,you may consider giving her a chance.
    5. Love does not struggle to give. If it struggles to give,then it is either sick or fake.
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