Tuesday, August 11, 2015

I Want to Quit my Marriage!

Hello amara,I must confess you are God sent on this earth cos you are so full of wisdom. 
Please I need advice cos I'm beginning to lose my mind,let me go straight to the point. 
I have been married for two years and since then no house of my own. I have a one year and nine months old daughter,she has been with my mum cos of this whole accomodation problem..
The issue is that my husband is doing virtually nothing to find a place of our own. 
We used to stay with his sister and when she started acting up,I took my daughter and left her house and over one year my daughter has been with my mum. 
NowI have gotten a little job,I keep perching from one friend's house to another,even the ones that insult me...
I have not saved enough money to rent an apartment due to the job is new,so my issue now is I'm tired of continuing like this cos this is not marriage. 
For two years I have not been happy and he is so relaxed,always giving one excuse and another,my family is tired of him...
I want to leave the marriage honestly cos I can't continue like this,is it wise to do that?I need advice please. 

Dear sender, 
I know that you never anticipated what you are currently experiencing with your husband and in your home. 
Getting married to an irresponsible man is worse than being single as a lady because it gives you the privilege to take his responsibilities while he sits at home making as many babies as his desire. 
Painful as this may sound, this isn't the best decision to take considering that you already have a daughter for him and is already married to him. 
He may be making some efforts but you will now need to make much more effort to cover the his nakedness. 
I would rather suggest that you work harder to get an accommodation for your family and that of your daughter. 
No matter how uncomfortable or poor the house may be, please get a roof over your head so that you wouldn't be exposed and insulted by anyone. 
This is not time to be tired of him or time to run back to your family. 
It's time for you to make some painful sacrifices for the sake of your home. 
It's time for you to look beyond the figure head and help him become a better man who has the capacity to take his responsibilities. 
It's time for you to get closer to your husband and find out what his vision is and how best to help him become a better man in life. 
You are married to him and I believe that God prepared you for the challenge you may have found yourself in today. 
It's only temporary dear and just an appointment, an employment or a favour is all it takes for your story to become a testimony. 
Please do not quit now because of the smokes that is blocking your vision, remember that you have all you need to overcome all your challenges in your marriage and with God's favour and Grace, this will only be told someday as a story of what happened in the past. 
It wouldn't be rosy for now but with God, you shall harvest greater blessings and prosperity in your home. 
All the best dear. 


  1. I will advice the sender not to quit on her husband for every marriage always has a moment like this,believe God thing will soon change for good.just like amara has said talk to man not in an insultive way but heart to heart,am convince your husband too is not happy with the situation of things now and because his effort is not showing now does not mean he is not trying as no man will want his family to suffer.talk in love with him,this is just a trial moment its will soon be over.dont aboundon your home pls.

  2. When you advice young girls not to get married to a man who doesn't have a house of his own they will say no. Oya wait for him to get something no matter how small so he can put food on d table, mbanu! This is the result. My dear I'm sure u were advised as follows but you didn't take heed, probably because u were already pregnant. You have laid ur bed now u gotta lie in it.


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