Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Should I Continue With Him Or Quit?

Am à lady of 29 years, I met this guy four years ago and he has paid only my dowry. 
My problem is that things are not working out for him, we have fasted and prayed but it's as if God doesn't want to answer our prayers. 
He has done many things, looking for job nothing is working out and I cannot go and start living with him without wedding. Even the handwork I forced him to learn, he called me one day that one man of God saw vision for him that it's business he will do and he stopped the work he was learning. 
Mama please advice me on what to do because am very tired and am still à student , should I go on with him or quit? 

I can only imagine how exhausted his present challenges may have made you feel especially when you never anticipated that this early in your marriage. 
I would like to remind you that any man who has paid your dowry and has fulfilled the traditional rites is already married to you so he's not this guy but your husband. 
Please get that settled in your heart so that you will get a better perception and understanding of your current challenge as a couple and not as an individual. 
If things aren't working out for him, maybe he needs to review his approach or concept of seeking for the solution to his challenges. 
He needs to be stable emotionally and focused spiritually so that he can be organised and achieve more than hitting the air and wasting his time doing nothing. 
Since currently there's no jobs for him, I would encourage that you support him to venture into a small scale business no matter how little his profits may be or he may need to learn some lucrative skills and commercialise it to generate some wealth for himself and his family. 
He cannot continue to see vision in the broad day light when he ought to be working for something else he may never know when he misses his direction as a result of many conflicting ideas and opinions of others. 
Do not force him but encourage him to start up something that he cherishes with his heart. 
As his wife you may also need to start some student based businesses that will fetch you extra cash while you study your books without being tempted by money. 
You may start selling kerosene, fairly used shoes and slippers or venture into some skills that will generate funds for you like cake making or plaiting or events decoration or any other thing that you have flair for. 
When the circumstances becomes unbearable, couples unite with one heart and vision to seek the lasting remedy for the benefit of the family. 
It's too early to be tired, please give your marriage some time and give your heart to your husband. 
Learn to partner with him and please do not relent in praying for him especially in times like this. 
He had good intentions when he came to your family to pay your dowry and you loved him so dearly that you desired him as your husband. 
Now is the best time to give him your support, counsel, prayers and selfless sacrifice to help him become a better man husband and father of your children. 
I am hopeful that this too shall pass away and you shall testify to God's glory in your marriage. 


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  2. God does what he wants to do how he wants to do it and when he wants to do it and not how you want him to...You're wrong to have said its as if God doesn't want to answer..
    Most times, the solution to our problem lies within our hands that is to say that most times we are the architects of our own predicament..
    On your part, you are just too desperate to get married and that is why you feel you have fasted and prayed enough for God to rain wealth from heaven upon your fiance for you to throw that society wedding of your dream..
    On your fiances part...i feel he is just too lazy...God loves hardwork....he loves dedication to service as far as it's the right thing you do...I feel your man just wants to get rich instantly without sweat but it doesn't work that way...Even blood money a.k.a ogwu ego requires a great deal of effort...
    You are in skul lyk you rightly said so simply focus on your studies and don't let this marriage song play through your ears..Be's not all about the wedding..
    Also...tell your fiance to wake up and do something and shun false prophets...manna doesn't fall from heaven these hustle for it..

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  5. How are we sure there is no other man coming around now. dont be tempted by what you see. stay with your man. Support him and advice him on what to do..and you should also find sumtin doing urself..


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