Thursday, September 10, 2015

Should I Keep My Financial Status a Secret?

Good evening ma, my heart is so heavy am a medical doctor my hubby is not a graduate didn't finish secondary school. 
I love my hubby so so much that I don't keep secret of my salary income etc from him. I support him in all areas spiritually, emotionally and financially. 
He loves and respects me too. He is proud of me outside his friends and family respects me due to the way and manner he presents me. 
I love him for his nature, conduct, neatness, mode of dressing etc he is OK for me I don't regret marrying him that if there is marriage in heaven I wish he still be my hubby. 
But we had an issue or slight misunderstanding. I freely said my mind that he does the same he got angry and said he knows why am comparing myself to him. 
I asked why, he said is because I make money more than him, but he has been supporting me a lot in my career. 
I am so open and free to my hubby because he is my best friend but I feel am making a mistake in my openess to my love.
I can't imagine hiding things from my love almost all our properties were acquired jointly even though I contributed.
I have never reminded him of it been a joint properties or made him feel intimidated for once but this statement made me cry deeply. 
I know he is sorry cos he knows am a submissive wife and he knows my level of spirituality and relationship with God. 
Should I keep my financial status a secret or what? my hubby is not after my money but yet he supports me in my profession. Provides for the family. 
My money comes out only in development of our properties. 
Please ma what's your opinion.

I will give you some recommendations based on your relationship with God. 
First of all let me commend you for loving your husband selflessly and sacrificially without considering his education status and pedigree in life. 
It shows truly that you are a lady of virtue and a lady who yearns to give love irrespective of your status or successes in life. 
I understand that what you told your husband may have hurt him so much for him to have made such a hurting statement. 
Though you didn't specify what you really said but if you were in his shoes, do you think you would have reacted the way he did or felt the way he did? 
I feel that this would have been where you could have explained yourself to him and not make him feel inferior or intimidated by your achievements. 
He may have reacted the way he did not because he doesn't appreciate your efforts and commitment but because his ego was crushed by your response though that may not have been your intentions. 
If you should go ahead to keep your financial status hidden from him, you would be confirming his fears that you really never respect him and appreciate him as your husband and your companion thereby creating a wide distance between you and your husband. 
Is that what you desire for your marriage? Will you let your finances separate you from your husband? 
I understand perfectly with you but because of your relationship with God and because of my limited and little understanding of God's word, I wouldn't encourage you to thread on that path. 
When you got married to your husband irrespective of your financial status or educational background, you gave up all for the leadership of your husband and so did he give up all for your safety and welfare as his wife. 
All that belongs to you by the virtue of marriage belongs to him and because you and your husband are naked to each other and not ashamed of each other, nothing ought to be a secret between you and your husband irrespective of his attitude towards you. 
In marriage, all that we do and all that we give is unto the Lord Almighty and not our partners. 
When you have the understanding that you are not doing anything to please any man, you will do it with selfless devotion and appreciation. 
You wouldn't consider what he said or what he didn't do because all your services are unto God. 
Your sacrifices for your husband is unto God, your support, appreciation, investment and services in your marriage are all unto God and he is the only person that will reward you and not any man. 
If it is possible and convenient, please let go of "your money" and give your husband the privilege to be your husband. It is foolishness for those who do not understand but our God can never tell us to do something that will never be for our benefits. 
Do not be discouraged by his attitude or his insecurities, rather strive in all your endeavours to be at peace with God who made you and blessed you with wealth. 
See the resources that you have as a gift from God Almighty to help your family and support your husband in all that you two set out to do. 
Please do not let your income take the place of your husband or make you lose sight of where God is taking you in life. 
Instead of making your financial status a secret, please apologise to your husband for hurting him with your words and let him know that it was never your intentions or desire to hurt him the way you did. 
Appreciate him for being there for you and for supporting you the best way he did. 
Always remember that you are never in a competition with your husband but in synergy with him to raise a home where Jesus Christ shall reign and your seeds shall prosper in the land of the living. 
Please give your heart to your marriage and your love to your husband. Let yuuryour main desire and yearning be that whether Christ comes today or tomorrow, nothing shall hinder you from reigning with Him in glory. 
I am convinced that God who has begun this great vision will perfect all that concerns you and your family and give you reasons to rejoice and celebrate each other in Jesus name Amen. 


  1. You would have done well to give us a hint of what transpired between the both of you that led to that statement to aid better understanding but that notwithstanding, I'll advice you to keep calm and enjoy your marriage...
    Do not let the devil into this beautiful affair because of nothing...Given all you said about your husband i see no reason why you should even think this way...The devil is a liar oh...rebuke him now!
    He only said the truth...of course you earn higher than him and we all know that women can let it get into their heads especially when they're financially better than their husbands...
    If you really love and value the transparency of your union, discard this idea...

  2. Madam,honestly,you have no problem....unless,'somebody' is trying to create one. Marriage is TEAMWORK,and finances in marriage,is a MUTUAL RESPONSIBILITY. If you are interested in knowing what God has to say about Finances in Marriage,in addition to what Aunty Amara has said,......
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  3. I think this will help: As a Christian,you know Jesus is the Husband of the Church,and the Church is the wife of Jesus. Now,ask yourself: What is it that Jesus has,that does not belong to the Church,and what is it that the Church has,that does not belong to Jesus????

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