Friday, September 4, 2015

Should I Tell Him to Stop Calling?

Good evening Aunty Amara and fans. 
I posted months ago about my fiance's mum whom was once nice to me and later refused to accept me because his son got an apartment after engaging me. 
She felt I was the person who persuaded her son to leave their family home. Me and my fiancé planned I visit her and made it seem I don't know the reasons for he attitude and also apologise if I in any ways offended her. 
Any time I bring up the issue on when to see her, my fiancé always look for one or two excuses to give. It has been more than a year, nothing has been done about it. 
He seemed not to be bothered, He does not talk about our marriage plans anymore though he said he's trying to fix things before starting with plans. 
I felt something was wrong that he's not saying. He now has a nonchalant attitude any time we quarrels. He does not call nor text. 
I'm always the person who calls for settlement which was not so before. He can never agree to be wrong. 
He normally say 'I'm the person who has problem not him'. I have talked with him often times on how relaxed he was when we quarrelled, still no changes. 
Though he still cares as he used to, if we were not quarrelling. We quarrelled recently, as usual, we did not talk for one week. I called to see him. 
We met, and I told him I can't continue with his attitude because he seemed not to be serious any more. I gave him his engagement ring, and told him when he's ready, I will know. 
Though he tried forcing me to take back the ring, I refused and walked away. 
He has been calling, talking like nothing happened. I'm really tired of talking on same issues. 
What can I do in this aspect? Should I tell him to stop calling me untill he sort things out with his mum and his nonchalant attitude towards the relationship? I'm 26, he's 30.

Every relationship has its challenging moments and times when it feels like you made a mistake accepting to be with your partner but the ability to understand the times and be able to manage the challenges without losing sight of your vision and convictions will help you find peace in times of the storm. 
Your fiancee has a vision and in all sincerity has communicated his heart to you, he had good plans for the relationship when he rented the apartment but I feel that with the recent attitude of his mum, it has been both challenging and hectic for him to manage this circumstances without losing the support of his mother. 
If you ask me, I don't think that returning his ring was the best thing for you to do at the moment considering what he's going through, and you ought to understand based on his attitude before now that he may have been going through some difficulties in convincing his mother which for me calls for your support, prayers and encouragement. 
I feel that you could have ignored somethings so as to enable you know exactly what he's dealing with before deciding on whether return his ring or not. 
There are some challenges that may make a man act as though he doesn't care nor respect the feelings of his partner, but that may be his own way of saying "I'm stuck and I need help". 
However if you feel that you cannot cope with his current attitude and he's not worth the temporary sacrifice, please do the needful and terminate the relationship officially so that he would have a clear understanding of what you meant when you returned the ring to him. 
Please do not be in a haste to make conclusions when you can pray and seek the face of God for his leading before making any decision with respect to your relationship. 

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