Thursday, September 3, 2015

I'm Not At Peace!

I must say 'God bless you' Aunty Amara and your Great Fans for restoring hope to people through this page. Please advice me on this issue> 
I am a 34 years old female and a Virgin. We are three girls in a family of eight children and I am the second girl. All my siblings are married except my younger brother who is engaged. 
Men has been coming for my hands in marriage since I was 19 years of age but it's either I don't like the person or two of us will go our separate ways(mostly because I wouldn't give in to their demand for sex before marrige),this has always been the situation for a long time and I have been praying seriously concerning it. 
Then there is this guy that is presently on my neck to marry me. Infact, I'm the one that has been putting him on hold from coming to see my father(my mother is recently late), because I want to study him(we met about six weeks ago> second week of July) and I'm not cleared about his source of income, he said that he is a building contractor and that some times he use to carry goods(women's wears> tops,trousers and leggings)from Onitsha to PortHarcourt for distribution, and that he does not have any shop per se. 
I'm sorry to say that since I met this guy, we have not engaged in any insightful or an intelligent discussion. 
He hasn't bought any gift for me or taken me out since we have met, but he is very good at calling me often and he has only sent me N200 recharge card. 
He lives in a two rooms apartment with his cousin brother and I have already started losing interest in him. I told my elder sister about him,and do you know that she has been pestering me to go ahead and marry this guy, her reason being that ''age is no longer on my side and that I have to understand that I am already heading to 40 years and again that women in their 30's usually have complications during pregnancy and child- delivery and that there is no perfect marriage any where, that every marriage has its ups and downs,and that it is the woman that builds the home'' Honestly I got scared after listening to what she said and I have made up my mind to get closer to the guy, since he is the only suitor I have at the moment, but I must say the truth, 'I am not at peace with this decision I'm about to take...' 
Please what do I do?

I often look at those who feel that farming is for the uneducated, unexposed and unemployed set of people and laugh at their myopic views simply because they don't know that they are slave to farmers. 
I said this because I feel that you have decided to place yourself so high that men are not reachable to you thereby seeing you as having no virtues that they desire in a lady. 
I understand that some men are out to screw anything in skirts but if you tell me that for the past fifteen years that all the men that have approached you were after your body, then something definitely isn't right with your attitude towards men and relationship in general. 
To be candid with you, I wouldn't advice you to enter a relationship all because of what your sister said but I must admit that most of all she said were true though there are exceptions to that. 
I am more concerned with how you present yourself to others, how you relate with others, how you communicate with others, what your values in life are and what you live for. 
You see, beauty cannot keep a lady with a horrible attitude with a man for a long time because with time he would not have the passion to invest his time and emotions with you. 
I sincerely feel that you need to step down and learn to be humble as a lady. 
Learn to affect lives positively and pay attention to some little details of a man. 
Be willing to soil your hands if you hope to harvest good fortunes in life. 
It's time to forget about who you are and think more about what you can do to affect the society positively. 
Please live out your passion and let the world tap into your vision. Be free to fly and be willing to grow even if you feel that you have enough in life. 
Please do not judge a man before getting to meet with him. 
That a man has a penis doesn't make him a jerk, do well to be a blessing to those who come into your life and please commit everything to God in prayers to grant you favour and open doors so that you will be in your home in no distant future. 
I have this convictions that you need a heart of love for you to find the man that you love and desire to spend the rest of your life with. 
Like I earlier said, if your reason for desiring to know more about your current partner was because of all that your sister said, please back off because you will regret it. 
Grow in friendship with your partner and fall in love naturally with the man who you love and cherish, only then will marriage be a haven for your heart and soul. 

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