Tuesday, October 27, 2015

I Have Given Up, Please Don't Advice Me!

Good day ma.my story is a bit lengthy.
Am a single mom. I met this guy who was really sweet and nice but along the line he changed am not sure at what point, but probably after I told him about my child. 
Even though in his words,he said he wasn't going to leave cos am a single mother but he stopped calling, stopped fussing about me.I got tired and told him I quit.
Later on he made up with me telling me he never agreed when I said we should break up, not as if he changed though. So few weeks ago I asked him to define what he felt we had and he called it quit on the ground that am stubborn. 
Point of correction, I don't fight him,I don't insult him,just that we disagree like every other couple and not always ,I can count the number of times cos we hardly see as he hardly makes time for that. 
Before then he was always making flirtatious comments about other ladies he likes. I kept being patient. On an occasion, he was raged cos I went to his house which I called to him I would, when I got there,I noticed a lady has been there.
He came back and ranted, yet I pleaded with him..
When he said we should quit, I gently told him it was OK,that we could break up,but he has some of my things over there I needed,he promised to bring them few days back but he didn't. 
I called him,then one thing led to another and he started telling me that I have no wife material quality, he laughed hard while saying that and mocked me deeply. I can still hear his laughter, couldn't believe it.
This was someone whose clothes I washed with my bare hands,whose house I scrubbed and cleaned and he thanked me for it,someone, out of generosity I got to lend money when he needed it urgently, someone who confessed I was the first person to ever get him a birthday gift and it goes on.
Am I really a bad person? Cos I have given up on myself. I told him true,I accept all he said,I don't know how to handle relationship,I may never know how to but I least expected this from him.
Am so grieved, I go to work yet I can't work. Probably God has given up on me too. The only thing I have left is my child and I know nobody will ever know how hard I blame myself for making this mistake of life for having this child,but I love her,she's the only thing that keeps me going now. 
Please I don't need an advice, cos I have given up,I just need kind words now*sobbing*

I was almost tempted to show the world the beautiful queen that has chosen the opinions of men rather than the promises of her creator. 
Angel of life, maybe I should start by saying that you are beautiful and adorable just by the way you look. I saw no scar nor blemish while looking at your pictures, your smile was captivating and the way you expressed yourself showed a lady full of love and happiness for who she is. 
Contrary to your mail, I saw a lady who many men are yearning to propose to but is wasting her life, emotions and time with an emotionally confused man. 
Let me begin from the basic biology, you grew into an adorable woman with beautiful fresh look and long face that was decorated with a pointed nose. 
Your burst wasn't hidden even the blind will attest to that nor were your hips in short supply. 
The blessing of a beautiful daughter is a testament to the fact that your womb and your vulva is in good condition. 
If a man be responsible for your pregnancy and the emergence of your daughter, it's obvious the you have the aura to attract men to yourself. 
Attitude wise, I may not say much but for a lady to scrub the floor of a man who hasn't even dropped a pin of commitment to the relationship shows how much you are willing to sacrifice to build what you cherish and for you to go extra mile to sacrifice your savings to help him when he was in need is also an evidence that you are emotionally mature for a serious relationship with purpose and vision. 
The honest truth is that you may have left real men for sweet, nice and caring men who knows the route to your legs and how to melt your heart and grab all your funds. 
You have so much believed in Hollywood movies and romantic comedy that you forgot that in reality, romance and Hollywood doesn't make any lasting impact in a relationship or marriage. 
That you had a beautiful daughter isn't the reason why you haven't been successful in your relationship but because you failed to discover your identity but have relied on the description and opinions of men who have no idea of the treasures within and the depth of your love and devotion to life and serving others. 
They ended up judging you by what they saw without knowing who you are and the more painful thing was that you believed them without even making any enquiries or better still seeking God's face. 
Before leaving your house, you make up and check up on your powder and make up but you never take your time to rediscover self and your passion in life. 
You are too busy looking for a man that you have lost sense of yourself and even humor of life. 
I mean if you were not with your daughter, will you accept a man who lives with a lady and wakes up ranting you down? 
Will you accept his insults and abuses and possibly endless lovemaking session all because he's a man? Really? 
The truth is, a woman doesn't need a man to be a complete woman but she needs a man to compliment her personality and vision in life. 
You need to be your kind of woman without an apology or an excuse to anyone. 
That you had a daughter never made you a curse to life, it was your choices and decisions that brought her and God doesn't see her as a curse so do not live each day regretting why she's around you but begin today to appreciate her the more and celebrate her everyday. 
Forgive yourself and be grateful for the kind of woman God has has ordained you to be. 
Give your heart to what you love and express yourself the way you so much desire. 
Go all out, work, make money and enjoy the beauty of life taking good care of your treasure your beautiful daughter. 
When love comes knocking, do not lower your standards because you want to win him, if he's your partner, he's respect and appreciate you for who you are and not insult the God who made you. 
Cheer up beautiful, if only God created one man, probably I would have encouraged you to give up but because he's too tiny to limit you from shining, please do not give up nor lose hope because of his unbridled tongue. 
You deserve better than that love and don't forget that your daughter believes so much in you and I personally celebrate you. 
It's well with you and yours and in no distant time, you shall come back to share your testimonies with us. 
**Oops I hope I didn't give you any advice, forgive me if I did.. Lol 
Be happy with life, it's a rare privilege beautiful! 


  1. The way Aunty Amara described this lady, it's as if she was there when she was created. I learn one thing while growing up and that is "TO LOVE MYSELF" I do stand in the mirror to acknowledge God's work in me and tell myself that no man or woman is good enough to make me inferior. Dear, love yourself and live your life to the fullest. Forget men and focus on your daughter. When the time is right, God's Positional System will position you in a place where you can be seen by your own BOAZ.

    1. U laid it out sweetly. Loving it.

    2. Thanks Akwaugo. I'm glad you love my comment.

    3. Thanks Akwaugo. I'm glad you love my comment.

  2. Am so inspired by ur encouragement aunty Amara.for the writer we tend to fail woefully wen we do not appreciate the beauty God endowed us with. Be positive and flee from people who try to destroy ur personality. U are unique words shouldn't get u down

  3. AVL on point!!! You are getting better in this counselling thing...lol. (It was a genuine compliment).

  4. AVL, u are multifaceted. Ur words will automatically resurrect her murdered positive self concept. U have said it all. I have nothing else to add.

  5. Amara your words is soothing enough to heal a wounded soul. Poster please take solace in all her words. Dont ever regret, keep calling God concerning you, never give up, cos has not given up on you yet.

  6. Thanks Ma, those words were so touchy and encouraging. To the lady one man's meat is another man's poison. Soon you'll meet someone who'll be best thing that ever happened to you. Pour out your heart to the greatest healer God.


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